Friday, September 23, 2011
Having stood outside my local CD store waiting for the doors to open, it’d be an understatement to say that I was excited, and a little bit impatient, to finally hear this album. In all honesty I was as nervous as hell as to what this record would bring, but after multiple listens of this long-awaited record, I think it's safe to say I wholeheartedly approve of 'Neighborhoods'.
It is without a doubt blink-182's darkest album to date, both lyrically and musically. They've definitely matured and incorporated into their music what they've all experienced during the past 8 years. In many respects it's as if they've simply picked up where they left off with their last record, except this time there's no question that this level of maturity suits them. After all, during the time of their eponymous album they were still seen as that band who sang that “cute ‘Na Na Na’ song” and who ran naked through their music videos. This time however, after almost a decade, life has naturally forced them to mature; they've grown up and progressed.
While 'Neighborhoods' stands as this dark and mature album, there are definitely throwbacks to their previous records, as well as hints of their side projects away from blink-182, which are definitely evident throughout the album.
The opening track, 'Ghost On The Dance Floor', is quite indicative of the album as a whole in terms of the overall theme and sound of the record. It’d be fair to say that it’s almost a sequel to ‘Not Now’. There are numerous references to death, hopelessness and self-doubt all the way through the record, but the second track, 'Natives', is perhaps the song in which these themes are most prevalent. Lyrics such as ‘I’m just a waste of your time/ Maybe I’m better off dead’ accentuate the darkness present on the album and paint a pretty good picture for what to expect. The third track, and first single off the record, ‘Up All Night’, is a reflection on the harsh reality of human behaviour and the struggles we all face through the eyes of a perceptive observer. As a single it had people confused, however in amongst the other tracks on the record it works well in context. The fourth track on the album, ‘After Midnight’, is a love song of sorts, an ode to a masochistic and destructive relationship, best captured through the verses, with lines like ‘I kind of like the rush you get/ When you’re standing close to death/ Like when you’re driving me crazy’. ‘Snake Charmer’ follows next with a song that is essentially about women and the evil lust and desire they use to coax men into getting what they want. It has a mixture of heavy guitars and an intro that is quite reminiscent of The Cure. ‘Interlude’ then provides a short instrumental break built upon a piano and a spacey guitar riff, a brief departure from the heaviness of the record before leading itself into the seventh track. ‘Hearts All Gone’ is one of the more fast paced punk rock tracks on the record that could easily be mistaken as a song that got lost during the recording of ‘Dude Ranch’ and that has now been re-recorded to become relevant for this particular record. However, amongst all the darkness some light can be found in the form of the eighth track, ‘Wishing Well’, with it’s catchy 'la da da' chorus. In true-to-form blink-182 fashion, this song has a more upbeat pop feel which is quite reminiscent of ‘Enema Of The State’. The ninth track, ‘Kaleidoscope’, is very much a song about the recording of the album. It is a return to the darkness of the earlier tracks, with lyrics full of fear and uncertainty as to what this journey holds; ‘It is the first time that I’m worried/ … It’s a long road to get it right’. Almost acting as a counterbalance to the paranoia of the previous song, ‘This Is Home’ is a pure rock song about the punk rock scene and how they, blink-182, want each other to ‘let go/ ‘Cause this is home’. ‘MH 4.18.2011’, another straightforward rock effort, has Mark singing of repression and the struggle of trying to grow in such an environment. His advice; ‘Slow down/ Stop living in the shadow of a helicopter’. Set to be the final track on the standard version, ‘Love Is Dangerous’ is a track that for me is their greatest departure from their previous material. It has a somewhat theatrical quality to it, with Tom’s declarations of ‘love/ Love is dangerous’ in the chorus. Track thirteen on the deluxe edition, ‘Fighting The Gravity’, is without a doubt a fitting song title as the music itself has this heavy and sluggish feeling about it, as if you’re actually being held back and pulled down. The lyrics provide the description and the music makes you a part of it. The final track on the album, ‘Even If She Falls’, sees one last return a catchy and upbeat melody, much like the feel good song at the end of a film that leaves you feeling satisfied.
‘Neighborhoods’ is a testimony to blink-182’s longevity, regardless of their split, and their ability to remain relevant. It is a brave, bold and beautiful record that sees the band harmoniously bringing together their array of ideas and influences to create an album that is without a doubt some of the best music they’ve produced.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
I'm going to see Good Charlotte!
Friday, March 25, 2011
I bought my copy of Sum 41's Screaming Bloody Murder today and, fuck me dead, it's brilliant!
They were so right when they said it was going to have the same vibe as ‘We’re All To Blame’ in relation to song structure and I love that! It’s up-beat, it’s heavy, it’s mature, it's dark, it's honest. It's one of those albums where you’re taken on a journey from beginning to end and couldn't possibly skip a song, much like the way I felt, and still feel, when I first heard Underclass Hero.
There is an evident theme of loss and pain on the record expressed through a range of different emotions. Deryck, as the main song writer for the band, has had to face and overcome many different trials in his life as of late, and I believe that is reflected through the songs that he has produced, whether intentionally or not. Songs such as 'Crash' and 'Exit Song' show the softer, more heartbreaking side of pain and, when you listen to these songs, it's difficult not to sense the emotion in Deryck's lyrics and vocals. Whereas 'Skumf*k' and 'Blood In My Eyes' show the more aggressive side to the same kind of loss. Not only is the album, in my opinion, about pain, but also about acceptance and a new beginning; picking yourself up after heartache and overcoming the hurt in order to find yourself once again. That's something that a lot of people can relate to and a message that everyone can take away from the record. It is through the three part A Dark Road Out Of Hell, comprised of 'Holy Image Of Lies', 'Sick Of Everyone' and 'Happiness Machine', respectively, that a story is told; a story of giving yourself over to another person, exposing yourself and your vulnerability, only to be hurt in the process and left scarred in the end. It shows a desire to want to move forward but not knowing the exact way to go about doing so. The opening song, 'Reason To Believe', essentially sums up the entire album, both through the lyrical content and the sound, and gives you a taste of what to expect from the rest of the record. The magical thing about music though is that, like most forms of art, it is open for personal interpretation; what one person might take away from this album could be something completely different to someone else.
With each new record that Sum 41 release, it is always so different from its preceder, yet they still maintain that ‘Sum 41 sound’. I love that kind of diversity within a band. Change is a good thing. It’s a sign of growth, as a band and as individuals. Screaming Bloody Murder is just another example of Sum 41's ability to reinvent themselves once again. It's a fusion of punk rock and metal, with many softer moments thrown into the mix, topped off with the always present energy of Sum 41. In the most simplest of terms, to quote a line I found online, "If Chuck and Underclass Hero met, and fucked, Screaming Bloody Murder would be the result." It's a record that I can highly recommend with utmost confidence.
To listen to the online streaming of Screaming Bloody Murder, check it out at Sum41.com.
Screaming Blood Murder Track List
1. Reason To Believe
2. Screaming Bloody Murder
4. Time For You To Go
5. Jessica Kill
6. What Am I To Say
A Dark Road Out Of Hell
7. Holy Image Of Lies
8. Sick Of Everyone
9. Happiness Machine
11. Blood In My Eyes
12. Baby You Don't Wanna Know
13. Back Where I Belong
14. Exit Song
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
For now the only one I'm posting is to do with the day I arrived because I haven't exactly finished the others. But I thought I'd at least get something posted.
Saturday 26th February, Sydney Airport
This is a time and place to be remembered, people. Want to know why? Well, I MET JARED LETO AND DERYCK WHIBLEY! That’s right, you read correctly; airport stalking once again paid off cos I met JARED LETO AND DERYCK WHIBLEY!
OMG! It was AWESOME! Cindy and I had been waiting at the airport for a few hours after my plane from Melbourne had landed. We were determined to meet 30 Seconds To Mars! It was our mission and NOTHING would get in our way! Every time we saw a flight from Brisbane was arriving we’d go over to where a mass of people would be congregated around the carousel. The first time we did this, we were just casually waiting behind this huge group of tattooed and pierced men wearing black, when some guy came over to where we were standing and left his bags. He said to us, “hey, can you watch my bags?”, to which we said, “sure!” He came back over with some more bags and we all just struck up conversation. He was telling us how nice Australians were and how we’re so friendly, because despite the fact he didn’t know us and we didn’t know him, had he asked someone in America to watch his bags, the authorities probably would have been called, yet we simply said sure. He was so friendly and we would have been talking to him for about 10 minutes. Trying to suss out who this guy was, Cindy said that there seemed to be a lot of bands around. He then asked us if we knew what Soundwave was and that he was playing at Soundwave. We asked him what band he played in and turns out he was Travis Clark from We The Kings! Haha, it’s funny, cos I know their music, yet I have no idea who the band members are! I wish I knew who he was before I started talking to him. He then asked us if we knew where any good party places were in the city, and Cindy had no idea, nor did I seeing as how I’m not even from Sydney. We said it depended on where he was staying and he was so determined to let us know where he was going to be. He must have told us three times what hotel he was at! I only wish my memory wasn’t so bad and that I could have remembered what he said!!
Flight after flight we kept a look out for Mars but weren’t having any luck. On the arrivals board there was only one flight still to come in, so we figured we’d wait for it. For the entire evening, security had been looking at us and had to have known we were there to try and see someone. Every now and then we’d see someone walk passed with a clipboard and some kind of ID card, and we realised they had to have been with Soundwave cos they always appeared as a flight was about to come in. This one guy saw Cindy and I sitting down and came over and asked us if we were with Soundwave. We told him “no” and he kept walking. Then he came by again and we asked him if he was with Soundwave. He said he was. So we asked him if he had any idea who was coming in on the next flight. He said he couldn’t tell us, but he did ask who we were waiting for. Cindy showed him her tattoo and he’s just like, “I have no idea what that means!” So we told him we were waiting for Mars and we asked if he could just let us know about them. He was adamant that he wouldn’t tell us, so I asked if I could just have a quick look at his board. He was like, “no, sorry. I really can’t do that. I’ll get fired! But what I can do is tell you that they’re not going to be coming in until tomorrow morning.” Once he left Cindy and I were like, “nah, he’s lying just so we’d leave.” So we stayed. And thank fucking God we did! We continued sitting there when, behind us, Jared Leto appeared on the escalators!!! Cindy turned to me and was like, “Jys, it’s Jared. That’s Jared Leto. Oh my God, it’s Jared.” Earlier on Cindy told me to make sure she didn’t freak out in front of him, so I was just like “calm, stay calm!” She turned to me and was like, “I’m going in!” and got up and went over to him before he passed us. I was like, “Oh FUCK! It’s really him.. what do I do?!” So I went over to Cindy and Jared who, at this point, were in the middle of literally a 10 second hug, lol. As I approached Jared, he was still hugging Cindy but, he looked and saw me coming over too and was like, “oh my.” It was a good ‘oh my’, lol. It was an ‘oh, hello. Another person to see me,’ lol, the attention seeking whore. Then I gave him a hug too and asked if I could get a photo. He was like “sure, first could you just mind my bags. Don’t steal any of my fucking shit” and then he went to the toilets that were behind us. Then he came back and we got photos with him. We were like, “thank you so much” and he’s like, “oh, no thank you.” Oh, he’s just so amazingly gorgeous! He was so sweet and softly spoken, not to mention extremely patient with us. He spent about 10-15 minutes with us. I mean, JARED LETO HAD HIS ARM AROUND MY BACK, HIS HAND ON MY WASIT! Cindy then gave him this heart cushion and he was like, “oh, you’re so sweet.” By this time everyone else from the flight had pretty much walked by and he’s like, “okay, I should probably go now” and we’re like, “yeah, of course. Thank you so much again!” and he’s like, “oh, thank you,” then he started to walk away. BUT, before he left completely, he turned around and said, “see you” and did that salute wave thing. OH, SO CUTE! Honestly, it was fantastic! However, one image that I will never be able to get out of my mind is his entrance when we were still sitting down. As we looked over to him and saw him descending the escalators, it was so surreal! He was standing there, perfect posture, practically gliding down the escalators, pretty much like God, as time stood still. It was just, yeah.. HNNNG!
Once he’d left to get his bags I was shaking! My legs were about to give way! So we both went back to where we had been sitting before! The first thing I did was put on Facebook that I’d met Jared Leto, and then I called Emma. While I was spazzing on the phone to Emma, which she can vouch for 100 per cent, I looked back to the escalators and was like, “OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Emma, I.. just hang on.. Nup, OMG! Okay, I’ll get back to you,” then I hung up. While Cindy was like, “what is going on here?!”, I got up and walked over to DERYCK WHIBLEY! When I first saw him, during my spaz, I was thinking to myself, “no, this can’t be who I think it is.. it just can’t be. HOLY SHIT, IT IS!” haha. I went up to him and was like, “hey Deryck, I’m Jys. Could I please get a photo?” He was like, “of course”, and then we had our photo taken! asdfghjkl! I was still in shock from having met Jared, so to then meet Deryck was just unbelievable! Cindy then was like, “oh, can I get a photo too?” So she got hers taken. Then Deryck went to get his bags. We again walked back to our seats and Cindy was like, “so, who was that?” haha. She figured if I was making such a fuss, then she must want a photo too. I was like “dude! That was Deryck! Lead singer from Sum 41!” ASDFGHJKL!!! Then I called Emma back and explained what happened, lol. However, while I was on the phone to Emma, some big security-looking guy came over to us. I was on the phone, so he spoke to Cindy. What he said was, “I’m Deryck’s people. Are you staying in Sydney? (Yes). Are you doing anything tonight? (No). Could I have you’re number and we’ll call you to let you know where the party’s at.” Okay, so they didn’t end up calling, BUT DUDE! DERYCK WHIBLEY’S ‘PEOPLE’ GOT OUR NUMBER! Hahaha. Oh man, if only I could have partied with Sum 41!!! Then while still on the phone, (btw, this phone call when for quite some time), I look out the glass window we were sitting next to and see Cone McCaslin walk by!! That started a whole new round of spazzing, lol. I was half thinking about getting up and going outside to chase him, but I figured that would have really creeped him out, lol. I may not have got a photo, but I did get to see Cone for real!! So I guess that will have to suffice.
Finally we got up and, as we did so, we saw this guy that had also been waiting at the airport for people he wanted to meet. Earlier in the evening he’d also asked us if we were with Soundwave, to which he again said no. We told him we were hoping to see Jared Leto. This guy though was like, “oh, no. I hear he’s not a very nice person. The other two, sure; they’re fine. But Jared.. he has no time for people. He’s all about himself. Very rude man.” Well, Cindy almost lost her shit! Then he came back to us later on and said how a friend of his was a huge 30 Seconds To Mars fan and that they’d said that Jared would be staying at the Vibe Hotel. That bit of information made it a fraction easier for Cindy to not kill him, but it still took a lot of willpower! So, after we met Jared, this guy was still at the airport. So Cindy went over to him to tell him that he could now, “tell everyone that he’s ‘heard’ Jared is a very sweet and considerate person.” The walk over though.. haha. Cindy had this walk, a strut/march, that looked like shit was about to go down, lol. Once we’d sorted this guy out, we decided it was time to go home. We were told that there was another flight coming in that had been delayed that Shannon and Tomo were on but, by this stage it was after 10:30pm, so we caught the train home. After calling Emma I then proceeded to give Bee a call and fangirl to her as well, lol. I pretty much wanted to tell anyone who would bother to listen to me.
Cindy and I were insane for the duration on the train ride and pretty much well into the morning! And when I say ‘well into the morning’, I mean until 7:30am when we finally decided we should get some sleep before having to get up for Soundwave.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
The sky had come crashing down like the news of an intimate suicide. We picked up the shards and formed them into shapes of stars that wore like an antique wedding dress. The echoes of the past broke the hearts of the unborn as the ferris wheel silently slowed to a stop. A few insects skittered away in hopes of a better pastime. I kissed you at the apex of the maelstrom and asked if you would accompany me in a quick fall, but you made me realize that my ticket wasn’t good for two. I rode alone.
You said, “The cinders are falling like snow.” There is poetry in despair, and we sang with unrivaled beauty, bitter elegies of savagery and eloquence. Of blue and grey. Strange, we ran down desperate streets and carved our names in the flesh of the city. The sun has stagnated somewhere beyond the rim of the horizon and darkness is a mystery of curves and lines. Still, we lay under the emptiness and drifted slowly outward, and somewhere in the wilderness we found salvation scratched into the earth like a message.”
- Spoken Word, AFI, Sing The Sorrow
Gibson Casian, Davey Havok, Hans Wold
Monday, February 14, 2011
[Which will be posted as soon as they become available because I cbf looking for them right now :)]
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
- Best British Band
- Best International Band
Kings Of Leon
My Chemical Romance
- Best Solo Artist
Florence + The Machine
- Best New Band
Two Door Cinema Club
- Best Live Band
- Best Album
Crystal Castles - 'Crystal Castles (II)'
Foals - 'Total Life Forever'
My Chemical Romance - 'Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys'
Arcade Fire - 'The Suburbs'
Two Door Cinema Club - 'Tourist History'
- Best Track
Cee Lo Green - 'Fuck You'
Foals - 'Spanish Sahara'
Gorillaz - 'Stylo'
Janelle Monae (feat Big Boi) - 'Tightrope'
Mark Ronson & The Business Intl. - 'Bang Bang Bang'
- Best Video
Arcade Fire - 'We Used To Wait'
Brandon Flowers - 'Crossfire'
Chase & Status - 'Let You Go'
Gorillaz - 'Stylo'
My Chemical Romance - 'Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)
- Best Festival
Reading & Leeds Festivals
T in the Park
- Best Dancefloor Filler
Crystal Castles - 'Baptism'
Kele - 'Tenderoni'
Plan B - 'Stay Too Long'
Professor Green - 'Jungle'
Tinie Tempah - 'Pass Out'
- Best TV Show
Never Mind The Buzzcocks
- Best Film
Get Him To The Greek
Scott Pilgrim Vs The World
The Social Network
- Hero Of The Year
- Villain Of The Year
- Most Stylish
- Least Stylish
- Worst Album
Cheryl Cole - 'Messy Little Raindrops'
Justin Bieber - 'My World'
Katy Perry - 'Teenage Dream'
Kings Of Leon - 'Come Around Sundown'
My Chemical Romance - 'Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys'
- Worst Band
30 Seconds To Mars
The Jonas Brothers
Kings Of Leon
- Hottest Man
Billie Joe Armstrong
- Hottest Woman
- Best Album Artwork
Foals - 'Total Life Forever'
Gorillaz - 'Plastic Beach'
Klaxons - 'Surfing The Void'
MGMT - 'Congratulations'
My Chemical Romance - 'Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys'
- Best Band Blog or Twitter
- Best Book
Carl Barat - 'Threepenny Memoir'
Jay-Z - 'Decoded'
John Lydon - 'Mr Rotten's Scrapbook'
Keith Richards - 'Life'
Russell Brand - 'My Booky Wook 2'
- Best Small Festival (50,000 capacity or lower)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
I don't know how much more random this can get, but I was walking through K-Mart today with mum and for some reason I found myself thinking "what exactly is it that has made me who am I and, if it were possible to go back in time and change certain things, would I still end up being 'me'?" The fact that this whole train of thought began whilst walking through the aisles of K-Mart is surprisingly not the most random part. The random part, and somewhat confusing and difficult part to explain, is that I don't mean 'me' in regards to my values and interests and personality; I mean 'me' as in 'Jyssica-the-human-being'.. Confused yet?
The only way I can think to describe it is through hypothetical situations. Obviously if you were to take either one of my parents out of the equation at my time of conception I would be a different person entirely. However, if time travel were to someday be invented, would replacing one of my parents with someone else be the only factor in changing 'me'? Don't get me wrong, my point here is not that I wish to change who my parents are! My point is what were the contributing factors in my creation? For one moment just ignore that fact that we are all products of our parents and all that DNA and ancestry stuff.
For example; say that rather than being born on my birthday I was born 2 weeks before or 2 weeks after. Would that have had any effect on my being? Perhaps being born even just a few minutes or seconds before or after my actual time of birth, would that have an impact on 'me' now? Or maybe it has nothing to do with the length of my mum's pregnancy. I am my parents first born child, but what if my parents conceived their first child at a different time and that child wasn't born on my birthday? Would that child still have been me? I have two younger brothers; one is 2.5 years younger than me, the other is 5 years younger. Like I said, I am my parents first born child. But what if my parents started having children later and my mum gave birth to her first child when my first younger brother was born, essentially making my mum’s second child her first? Would that have had an effect on things? Would 'that' first born child still have been me? Or would it have been my brother, and life would carry on as we know it to be now in this present time, with the only exception being it would have been like I never existed? Or perhaps 'that' first born would have been neither me nor my brother but instead someone else entirely.
And if that thought alone wasn't weird enough, it got me thinking "what if that really is all it took for me to not exist? What if a few minutes difference in my time of birth is the only thing that separates me from being here on earth or potentially a completely different person being here on earth?" Just to make this whole entire scenario climb up the crazy scale another notch, I began to feel bad for that 'potential human being'. I started to feel as if I had stolen 'their' life away from them. Why should I get to live when someone else could be here on earth right now who would appreciate life more than what I do? Then, just to send this train of thought off into the category of 'in need of therapy', I suddenly felt somewhat angry. Towards whom I was angry at, I have no idea. It was to no one in particular. I was angry at whatever it was that is responsible for me being who I am. Perhaps I'm angry at fate, or perhaps 'God'? It doesn't really matter what it was that I was angry at because it was/is just some crazy and irrational sense of anger that came over me. Nevertheless, regardless of how crazy and irrational it is, all that matters is the fact that I felt angry because I am here. How is it fair that I get to live when, perhaps if things had happened differently, someone else could be in my place right now? How is it fair that I get to live when I'd willingly exchange my life for having never existed? It's just crazy and completely insane! Fact; I sometimes wish I never came into existance.
If you actually made it through to this point here, then I think a congratulations is in order. Furthermore, if you reached the end and actually understood what the hell I was on about, then you deserve a standing ovation!
Now I'm just going to leave this here before I give anyone anymore reason to have me committed.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Dom and myself ♥
Chris and myself ♥
And minimal time unfortunately meant I was unable to get a photo taken with Matt. .
And minimal time unfortunately meant I was unable to get a photo taken with Matt. .
. . but now I have a goal for next time! ;)
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Incase you haven't noticed yet, I'm going so that I can see 30 Seconds To Mars and Jared Leto live in all their glory! I'm very much looking forward to it! I'm also wanting to see Sum 41! They're the two bands I cannot miss out on! Avenged Sevenfold was also in that mix, until they pulled out. However there are still some other amazing bands I'd like to see should the timetable allow for it, those bands being; New Found Glory, Bullet For My Valentine, Pennywise, Coheed and Cambria, Less Than Jake, MxPx, Mayday Parade, Breathe Carolina and, perhaps just because I'm curious, The Blackout, Primus and Iron Maiden. I do know that I won't be able to see all of them, but as many as possible would be great!
It should be an amazing trip! While in NSW I shall also be meeting up with some of my interstate musers, (ie, Evelyn!), so that should also be awesome! This will be the first time I've travelled by myself, completely solo and, I plan on being in Sydney for about 8 days, so it'll be a nice little holiday filled with insane music, amazing people and away from reality. I cannot wait!
Monday, January 10, 2011
I feel like I just have to get this off my chest before it drives me insane, this weird sense of confusion or whatever. It’s been nagging at me for so long now. For longer than I care to remember. I just don’t know if I can properly explain it when I can hardly understand it myself. I’m just your average person, you know; nothing spectacular, nothing out of the ordinary. I go through the same old shit as the next person. And it’s like, when I’m happy and in a good place, I try hold onto that as much as I can because when I get down, it’s really not good. Not to mention I have no idea how long either mood will last for. And it’s annoying because the switch between the two emotional places can happen so quickly that I’m not even aware of the change. It’s quite unnerving. I just wish sometimes that I could make it go away. Take something to make it go away. Do something to make it go away. But, I can’t. Because that would mean actually focusing on whatever it is and facing it. It’s so much easier to pretend that something doesn’t exist when you keep it to yourself. When you hold onto something private you can convince yourself it’s just a nightmare and that it will go away. But once you let other people in, it becomes real. So instead I lie to everyone. I lie to my friends and I lie to my family; I lie to myself. I make myself believe that it’s nothing but all in my head. I don’t lie because I want to keep a truth hidden. I lie because I don’t want it to be real. And it’s not even a deliberate lie because on the surface I have truly convinced myself it’s nothing. It amazes me how I’m so able to deceive myself. It’s only when I stop to really think about these things and analyse it that I realise what I’m really doing; putting up this facade and telling myself that it’s nothing more than some nightmare I’ll wake up from.
Ugh, and that’s pretty much all I can get out of my system right now… a whole bunch of nonsensical bullshit.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
I'm being followed by my shadow, he's been creeping around
Asking where I've been
He keeps tapping on my shoulder, telling me it's over
So where do I begin?
These dark days are getting harder, I feel I'm treading water
So will I sink or swim?
Roll on, push a little further, I keep saying is this worth it
Or should I just give in?
I don't know
I don't know which way I'm supposed to spin
In this circle
And I won't waste my time on your concern
'Til it's over
I look back on a distant border, I fear I'm getting older
There's so much that I missed
Walk on following a faint line, see if I can define
Where I came undone
I don't know which way I'm supposed to spin
In this circle
And I won't waste my time on your concern
'Til it's over
And I will wait my turn, my time will come
This ain't over
And I can't wait no more, no sweet return
This is over
So it is
So sweet return
This is over
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Knowing of Interpol but having only previously heard some of their music, it's safe to say I was feeling a little bit out of my comfort zone. However, accompanying Ash to see her second favourite band was awesome. I had an amazing time! It didn't matter that I didn't know all the lyrics to the songs, it just had a really good vibe. The support act, Bridezilla, surprisingly captivated me. I think I might have to go and search out some of their music. But the main act, Interpol, were amazing. They're a really good live band! They have energy and charisma and are very appreciative of their fans; everything you want from a live performance!
The setlist for the night:
EDIT: Photos still to come
Thursday, December 30, 2010
It’s safe to say that the end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010 was one of the worst introductions into a new year that my family has had in a long time. Within the space of four months we had three deaths within our family. December 21, January 24 and March 1 saw the unfortunate loss of Uncle Eddy, Aunty Mary and Grandpa, respectively. It was a very difficult period for the entire extended family, however, more specifically, it was extremely difficult for my Grandma who lost her son, her sister and her husband. The sudden loss of three family members took its toll on everyone in a number of different ways and, regrettably, due to legal reasons, certain issues were dragged out longer than necessary, hence prolonging the grieving period. I know that for me personally I will always be affected by certain things that will trigger memories or take me back to a time when I could still see my loved ones as I wished, however I know that that is completely normal, and for as long as I hold onto my memories of them they will never be forgotten, living on forever in hearts of those who they touched.
Also in January I finally got my learners permit. I may have been 2 years late on actually sitting the test, but at least I passed it and earned my right to drive on the roads. As a learner I have to have my permit for a minimum of one year before I can go for my driver’s license. On top of that I also have to have a minimum of 120 hours of driving practise. Keeping all of this in mind I set myself a goal; to get at least 10 hours of driving up a month so that by the time my one year is up I’ll have my 120 hours. Well, luckily for me, I had my 120 hours up within 10 months, so all I need now is to book some lessons before my instructor feels I am ready to go for my license. Not that I am in any rush of course. I don’t have my own car and I don’t really have anywhere I need to drive to that public transport can’t get me to. I’m just hoping that by sometime in February I’ll have my license.
2010 also saw me enter my final year at high school, the most important year, becoming a year 12 VCE student at St.Peter’s College. It was a year of my schooling that, for the first time in my life, I wasn’t looking forward to in the slightest. Usually before I return to school each year I want nothing more than for school holidays to last forever, however, there’s normally a part of me that actually wants to go back. This time though, as I prepared myself to start off my last year, there wasn’t a single ounce of my being that wanted to be back at school. Consequently, I spent my entire year wishing for it to be over and just trying to make it by, one day at a time. Admittedly there were moments when I enjoyed being at school, like if there was a certain topic we were studying that I had an interest in or if we were learning something that I actually wanted to learn about. And, of course, being able to spend every day with my friends is a big bonus! (Probably the very best thing about being at school!) But, other than that, I would arrive at school every morning just counting down the hours until the bell sounded to go home. I began the school year in the wrong mind frame and with no motivation and, as a result, I was never going to have a productive year unless I changed my mentality. As much as I wanted to change my approach to school, the desire wasn’t strong enough, so basically I just ‘got by’. I always knew that I had the potential to do better than what I was doing and, that when the time came at the end of the year for everyone sit exams and get our ATAR scores, I knew I would regret the minimal effort I put into my school work. Luckily for me though, according to everyone else, I have enough ‘natural intelligence’ and I was able to get a reasonable ATAR score. So all in all I suppose I did what I had to in order to pass VCE and successfully complete my formal education.
The first school holidays, during the month of March, is when I think my world got turned up-side-down slightly. My family went away for a basketball tournament that Jack was playing in and, seeing as how I didn’t want to go, I got to spend that time at home by myself! During my days of freedom I watched a lot of TV (even if the only TV I watched was Muse’s HAARP DVD on repeat, all day, every day) and I spent a lot of time online. And this is where I found myself slowly emerging myself, oblivious at the time to the long-term consequences, into a world that I would never return from. It all started when I was randomly looking through some music websites until I stumbled across an MTV poll, what for I don’t remember, between My Chemical Romance and Muse. I picked my side and set out to gain votes for Muse. The first place I went to try and recruit voters was Twitter by copying and pasting a little note attached with the link to the voting page. People began replying to me and before I knew it I found myself in the middle of this online community that I had no idea even existed! In no time at all I had a whole new following on Twitter consisting primarily of Musers; the term given to the dedicated following of British alternative rock band, Muse. From Twitter this online community took me to the Muse forums on muse.mu where I officially became a ‘boardie’. I spent the rest of the Easter holidays talking to these people and getting to know them and, from that moment on, I have never looked back. To this day I am still friends with all those musers, even having met up with them at the Muse concert in December. It would be an understatement to say that my fascination with these British rockers has consumed my life, but I honestly don’t care. I owe so much to them for giving me inspiration when I needed it and providing me with hope when my outlook was bleak. I honestly feel as if Muse changed my life. Most importantly though, had it not been for Muse, I wouldn’t have come across some of the most amazing people I know. So for that and so much more I am truly grateful.
May 9, 2010: Supernatural All Hell Breaks Loose II Convention! This was definitely a dream come true for me. I finally got to meet some of the cast members of my all time favourite television show! Unfortunately Jared and Jensen were unable to attend; however, we were graced with the presence of Samantha Ferris (Ellen Harvelle), Rob Benedict (Chuck) and Julie McNiven (Anna), Jim Beaver (Bobby Singer) and, last but not least, Misha Collins (Castiel). Joining me at the convention was Emma and Bonnie, two fellow Supernatural enthusiasts like me! We spent the day asking questions and listening to the stories that the cast would share with us. It’s very true what people say about the Supernatural cast; they are without a doubt some of the most down-to-earth celebrities you could ever come across. They were funny and intelligent and simply a great bunch of people to spend the day with. After the Q&A sessions we were given the opportunity to have professional photos taken with the cast member/s of our choice. I got a photo with Misha and then a photo with Jim! I remember my photo with Misha very clearly. We were told not to attack the actors with hugs unless they went in for the hug first. I had no intention of attacking Misha; however, as I went to put my arm out so I could be on his left side, Misha interpreted that as me wanting a hug. He then went in for the hug and, not knowing what else to do, I followed his lead. But due to the awkward position we then found ourselves in, the result was the most awkward hug in the history of hugs. I put my arm around him and my head kind of leant forward into his shoulder. Essentially, I nuzzled into Misha Collin’s shoulder, lol. And after all that I still ended up on his right side, lol. Afterwards, because we had some money left over, Bonnie, Emma and I pitched in to get a photo with Rob. Later on in the day, the last item on the agenda was the opportunity to get signatures. I ended up with a signed photo with Misha Collins and a signed photo with Rob Benedict. Rob was very kind! Emma, Bonnie and I had our names on a sticky note so that Rob knew how to spell our names; however, we didn’t tell him who was who. So Rob tried to guess which name belonged to each of us. It was quite funny. Then, as he was signing, he was thinking to himself how to finish his message to us and we were saying to him, “how about ‘love from Rob’, ‘thinking of you always’, ‘see you later on tonight’?” Rob just started laughing at us, lol. After he was finished he asked us if we wanted the sticky notes back but we said he could keep them and, as we walked away, we saw him stick the sticky notes to himself and keep them there for the remainder of the signing time! The day spent at the Supernatural Convention really was one of the best days of my life!
With June came my 18th birthday. Never having been one for big celebrations I decided to just have a simple get-together with a few of my friends for lunch at my house. It was nothing fancy but it was nice to have my friends around to celebrate. On the night of the 13th Emma and Elly stayed over so that they could be there with me when I officially turned 18. It was very sweet of them and, at exactly 12am, we cut my birthday cake; a Freddo Frog Ice-Cream Cake! I wasn’t the only one to turn 18 this year though. Beginning with Bec in May and ending with Emma in December, 2010 was the year that majority of my friends and I all became legal! We still have a few people in our group who are yet to cross over into official and legal adulthood, however when their time comes, I guarantee that it’ll go off just as everyone else’s has. Of course, with legality came a few privileges, like being able to drink alcohol and go out clubbing! Not that I’m really one for clubbing, in fact, I can’t stand it. However, get a few drinks into me and I’m more than willing to show off my moves on the dance floor, lol. Not that I even have any ‘moves’, lol. It has been fun though, regardless of whether it’s my ‘thing’ or not. Just being out with your mates and having a good time, that’s all that really matters.
July 4, 2010: The Vampire Diaries Convention. Taking place in the same auditorium at Melbourne University as the Supernatural Convention was held, Emma and I got to meet the cast members of the television show, The Vampire Diaries. The events of the day took place in very much the same fashion as the Supernatural convention in May. At this convention, though, we were lucky enough to meet the three main stars of the show, Nina Dobrev (Elena), Paul Wesley (Stefan) and Ian Somerhalder (Damon). Looking back on the day I remember how gorgeous and smart Nina was, how ripped Paul’s arms were and how incredibly intelligent and passionate Ian was. Emma and I got photos together; one with Ian and one with Paul. As we walked towards Ian to get our photo taken he looked at us both and said “look, two tall fine lovely ladies”. Gosh, that sent Emma and me into a spin, lol. Later on we then got our photo with Ian signed. These conventions are such a great opportunity to get up close and personal with the actors and actresses of your favourite television shows and I hope that I get to attend more of them in the near future!
2010 was also the year that I got to attend four concerts in the space of 3 months, even if 2 of the gigs were for the same band, lol. October 13, December 1, December 14 and December 15 were the dates I got to see Paramore at Sidney Myer Music Bowl, U2 at Etihad Stadium and Muse x2 at Rod Laver Arena, respectively. All three acts were incredible all in their own regards. Going to these gigs has made me want to go to more concerts more frequently! However, that would mean I need to get a job so I have to money to be able to do these things… There’s no question about it, Muse was my favourite act. I couldn’t possibly go into detail now about my Musing adventures because it would honestly take up too much time. I recommend you visit this post (link to be posted later) if you want to read all about Muse. And this one if you want to read about U2.
While on the subject of Muse I’ll take this opportunity to mention my meeting Muse at Melbourne airport earlier this month. On December 12, my fellow musers and myself went to the airport to try and meet Muse as they arrived in Melbourne for their Melbourne leg of the Resistance Tour. It must have been our lucky day because the boys did indeed arrive that day and we were able to stop them, talk with them and get photos. It was easily one of the greatest days of my entire life! I unfortunately was unable to get a photo with Matt or even talk with him for that matter, but I was able to talk and get photos and signatures from Chris and Dom! That’s right; I got a photo with Dominic Howard and I got my ‘Butterflies and Hurricanes’ 7” vinyl signed. It was an amazing day! Not just the fact that we met them, but just chilling at the airport with an awesome group of people!
December 3, 2010: Hamish and Andy’s Thank You Tour, Sidney Myer Music Bowl. Emma, Elly and myself headed out into the city so that we could be there as radio and TV personalities, Hamish Blake and Andy Lee, broadcast their last radio show. They will be back next year, but only once a week instead of every weekday. This Thank You Tour was their way of saying, as the title itself explains, thank you to Australia. It was a great day filled with lots of laughter and musical performances. Michael Paynter and John Farnham were scheduled to play during the show and, Daryl Braithwaite made an appearance, as well as Newton Faulkner via video but, it was surprise musical guests U2 who really stole the show when they rocked up to perform.
2010 has been a big mixture of emotions. On one hand it has been one of the worst years, with the deaths in our family and my motivation for everything in general being at an all time low. Yet, on the other hand, having the chance to meet the cast of both Supernatural and The Vampire Diaries, as well as meeting the members of Muse and attending the Muse concerts, has made it one of the best years ever. I suppose the good and the bad equalled out, creating some kind of natural balance. However, despite all that has happened this year, I wouldn’t trade it in for anything. 2010 has brought with it new memories, new experiences, new friendships; and it’s the people I got to share these things with that have made everything so much more memorable.
So here is a little something for one of the most important and influential friendships in my life and something for the few new friendships that I have formed this year.
You’re my best friend! You have quite literally been there for me this entire year, no matter the reason. Whether you knew it at the time or not, you helped me so much during the most difficult time of my life. You were the first one I was on the phone to; you listened to me and respected what I wanted during that time, regardless of whatever it was. You gave me space when I needed it and comforted me when the time called for it. Simply being around you and in your presence helps in any situation. You’re one of those ‘glass-half-full’ types of people who tries to look on the bright side no matter what. Remember, there’s always a silver lining; a ‘light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel’, so to speak, lol. You put so much energy into being there for your friends and that’s something I admire about you. This year you have been there with me for pretty much every monumental event. We got to go to two conventions together and fan-girl over our favourite celebrities. We went to Hamish and Andy together and got to see the boys off in style! Admittedly, you were the second person I called after I met Muse, but that was cos I had to ring Ev so we could go insane over Dom together. But regardless, you were the one I called when everyone else was on the phone to their families and loved ones. That’s because you’re more than my best friend; you’re my sister. You’re a part of my family now, as you well know. You have been accepted with open arms into the Keen household, lol. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing together; whether it be sitting on the couch watching movies and having a food-fest or going out on pub crawls (which are going to be so much fun, lol), I just enjoy spending time with you. Next year is going to be so much fun; freedom at last! I don’t need to hope that we can create some more awesome memories together because I know that that’s a given! Love you, girl!
It doesn’t matter that I only met you this year because it feels like I’ve known you for so much longer. You can officially go down in my history books as the first online friend who I met up with in real life and who has also stayed the night at my house, lol. And that’s a good thing because that means I feel comfortable with you. It’s uncanny how much we have in common but, as we have both decided, that stopped being weird long ago! Our similarities go beyond a mutual love for Shia LaBeouf and Dominic Howard and Muse; we’re very similar in personal traits and those aspects of ourselves that make us who we are. It’s for that reason that I think we get along so well; because we understand each other. Earlier this year we said that we would get to meet Dom together and, guess what, we did it!!! We met Dom together, we met Muse together and we got to rock out at Muse together on the barrier! I’m so glad that I was able to share in that experience with you and, hopefully, there will be many more experiences like that in the future that we can join in together!
Oh, Evelyn; my muser sister! I was trying to think back to how I even got started talking to you and, you know, I think I remembered how. I’m pretty sure Ash was talking about sticking posters up on her wall and wanted to know if using sticky-tape or blu-tac was better. I told Ash that I use blu-tac but put little squares of sticky-tape on the back corners to stop the poster from ripping or discolouring. You must have seen Ash’s question because you started talking to her about it too. Then you started talking to me about different methods of sticking up posters, lol. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s how we started talking regularly, lol. Then our friendship progressed! You sent out nightly twitpics of Muse and that’s how we discovered we were both Dom-girls! From there I got Dom-pics dedicated to me nightly! Before we knew it you were stalking me everywhere, lol! Twitter, Facebook, muse.mu, MSN, mobile number… It got out of control, lol. But I wouldn’t change anything about it! I don’t think I know anyone else out there who knows as much about Muse as what you do! It’s quite incredible actually. Together we can go off on quite a tangent making up impossible Muse fantasies which, hopefully for our sake, don’t remain merely a fantasy forever, lol. Not to mention you’re the one who got me into QI and, consequently, began filling my head with more random and useless facts! I’m very grateful for the fact that you accepted me for who I am so easily! You know I’m strange and it doesn’t bother you. And, despite the fact that we live in neighbouring states, we FINALLY got to meet one another at the Muse concerts in Melbourne! But not before we got to share, two days beforehand, an epic Muse/Dominic meeting! You had your ninja stalking skills in top gear that day! Thank you for everything you've done for me this year and all the memories you've given me! Here's to many more next year!
Lucy, you are such an amazing chick! I am so very grateful that I found you all the way over there in Scotland via the very useful internet! I can't begin to tell you how much it means to have you in my life. It's so strange how, for two people who have never met before, we can be such good friends! I've loved all those crazy and perverted conversations we've had over MSN and TinyChat this past year, even if it means I was up until 4am on a school night, lol. We kicked it off so well so quickly, it was great! And then once we found out each other’s love for fanfic, well, let's just say I think Ev sometimes got a bit worried about us, lol. You really are like the older sister that I never had! I can talk to you about anything at anytime and I like that; it feels comfortable! It is going to be my mission to visit you, Lucy! It will happen! I know it will. And then you can come to Australia and I'll take you to visit the penguins! Thank you, Lucy, for being a part of my life this year! It's been so much fun! And I know that next year will be just as, if not more, awesome!
Well, where to begin, eh? We met because of the MTV poll and I was trying to find 'fans of Muse' (I didn't know they were called 'musers' at the time) to help vote. And I was telling you about all the hate that was going on between the two fanbases. And because you couldn't log onto the website to comment, you gave me some 'Dead Star' lyrics to post and, as a result, I copped so much hate from the My Chemical Romance fans, lol. And thus began our friendship! From that moment on we simply began talking to each other on Twitter and, to this day, we still do! (And Facebook and muse.mu and MSN and TinyChat.. lol). And it's cos of all the 4am conversations that I've gotten to know you so well! To quote myself and reiterate everything I've already told you, I consider it an honour to have been able to get to know you this year. Though we are so far away in actual distance, I feel that in reality we are so close to one another in spirit. I know that no matter what situation I find myself in I can always come to you for guidance and support. Not to mention you always encourage me to do my best and to be my best. It means a lot. So thank you for everything this year, it's been fun! Now for 2011!
I’m sure there is so much more that happened and so much more I want to say but, for now, this will have to suffice!