2010 Wrap-Up!

It’s come to that time of the year again where I cosy in and reflect upon the year that was. With so much having happened this year it’s hard to know where to begin so, I’ll do what’s easiest, and start at the beginning.

It’s safe to say that the end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010 was one of the worst introductions into a new year that my family has had in a long time. Within the space of four months we had three deaths within our family. December 21, January 24 and March 1 saw the unfortunate loss of Uncle Eddy, Aunty Mary and Grandpa, respectively. It was a very difficult period for the entire extended family, however, more specifically, it was extremely difficult for my Grandma who lost her son, her sister and her husband. The sudden loss of three family members took its toll on everyone in a number of different ways and, regrettably, due to legal reasons, certain issues were dragged out longer than necessary, hence prolonging the grieving period. I know that for me personally I will always be affected by certain things that will trigger memories or take me back to a time when I could still see my loved ones as I wished, however I know that that is completely normal, and for as long as I hold onto my memories of them they will never be forgotten, living on forever in hearts of those who they touched.

Also in January I finally got my learners permit. I may have been 2 years late on actually sitting the test, but at least I passed it and earned my right to drive on the roads. As a learner I have to have my permit for a minimum of one year before I can go for my driver’s license. On top of that I also have to have a minimum of 120 hours of driving practise. Keeping all of this in mind I set myself a goal; to get at least 10 hours of driving up a month so that by the time my one year is up I’ll have my 120 hours. Well, luckily for me, I had my 120 hours up within 10 months, so all I need now is to book some lessons before my instructor feels I am ready to go for my license. Not that I am in any rush of course. I don’t have my own car and I don’t really have anywhere I need to drive to that public transport can’t get me to. I’m just hoping that by sometime in February I’ll have my license.

2010 also saw me enter my final year at high school, the most important year, becoming a year 12 VCE student at St.Peter’s College. It was a year of my schooling that, for the first time in my life, I wasn’t looking forward to in the slightest. Usually before I return to school each year I want nothing more than for school holidays to last forever, however, there’s normally a part of me that actually wants to go back. This time though, as I prepared myself to start off my last year, there wasn’t a single ounce of my being that wanted to be back at school. Consequently, I spent my entire year wishing for it to be over and just trying to make it by, one day at a time. Admittedly there were moments when I enjoyed being at school, like if there was a certain topic we were studying that I had an interest in or if we were learning something that I actually wanted to learn about. And, of course, being able to spend every day with my friends is a big bonus! (Probably the very best thing about being at school!) But, other than that, I would arrive at school every morning just counting down the hours until the bell sounded to go home. I began the school year in the wrong mind frame and with no motivation and, as a result, I was never going to have a productive year unless I changed my mentality. As much as I wanted to change my approach to school, the desire wasn’t strong enough, so basically I just ‘got by’. I always knew that I had the potential to do better than what I was doing and, that when the time came at the end of the year for everyone sit exams and get our ATAR scores, I knew I would regret the minimal effort I put into my school work. Luckily for me though, according to everyone else, I have enough ‘natural intelligence’ and I was able to get a reasonable ATAR score. So all in all I suppose I did what I had to in order to pass VCE and successfully complete my formal education.

The first school holidays, during the month of March, is when I think my world got turned up-side-down slightly. My family went away for a basketball tournament that Jack was playing in and, seeing as how I didn’t want to go, I got to spend that time at home by myself! During my days of freedom I watched a lot of TV (even if the only TV I watched was Muse’s HAARP DVD on repeat, all day, every day) and I spent a lot of time online. And this is where I found myself slowly emerging myself, oblivious at the time to the long-term consequences, into a world that I would never return from. It all started when I was randomly looking through some music websites until I stumbled across an MTV poll, what for I don’t remember, between My Chemical Romance and Muse. I picked my side and set out to gain votes for Muse. The first place I went to try and recruit voters was Twitter by copying and pasting a little note attached with the link to the voting page. People began replying to me and before I knew it I found myself in the middle of this online community that I had no idea even existed! In no time at all I had a whole new following on Twitter consisting primarily of Musers; the term given to the dedicated following of British alternative rock band, Muse. From Twitter this online community took me to the Muse forums on muse.mu where I officially became a ‘boardie’. I spent the rest of the Easter holidays talking to these people and getting to know them and, from that moment on, I have never looked back. To this day I am still friends with all those musers, even having met up with them at the Muse concert in December. It would be an understatement to say that my fascination with these British rockers has consumed my life, but I honestly don’t care. I owe so much to them for giving me inspiration when I needed it and providing me with hope when my outlook was bleak. I honestly feel as if Muse changed my life. Most importantly though, had it not been for Muse, I wouldn’t have come across some of the most amazing people I know. So for that and so much more I am truly grateful.

May 9, 2010: Supernatural All Hell Breaks Loose II Convention! This was definitely a dream come true for me. I finally got to meet some of the cast members of my all time favourite television show! Unfortunately Jared and Jensen were unable to attend; however, we were graced with the presence of Samantha Ferris (Ellen Harvelle), Rob Benedict (Chuck) and Julie McNiven (Anna), Jim Beaver (Bobby Singer) and, last but not least, Misha Collins (Castiel). Joining me at the convention was Emma and Bonnie, two fellow Supernatural enthusiasts like me! We spent the day asking questions and listening to the stories that the cast would share with us. It’s very true what people say about the Supernatural cast; they are without a doubt some of the most down-to-earth celebrities you could ever come across. They were funny and intelligent and simply a great bunch of people to spend the day with. After the Q&A sessions we were given the opportunity to have professional photos taken with the cast member/s of our choice. I got a photo with Misha and then a photo with Jim! I remember my photo with Misha very clearly. We were told not to attack the actors with hugs unless they went in for the hug first. I had no intention of attacking Misha; however, as I went to put my arm out so I could be on his left side, Misha interpreted that as me wanting a hug. He then went in for the hug and, not knowing what else to do, I followed his lead. But due to the awkward position we then found ourselves in, the result was the most awkward hug in the history of hugs. I put my arm around him and my head kind of leant forward into his shoulder. Essentially, I nuzzled into Misha Collin’s shoulder, lol. And after all that I still ended up on his right side, lol. Afterwards, because we had some money left over, Bonnie, Emma and I pitched in to get a photo with Rob. Later on in the day, the last item on the agenda was the opportunity to get signatures. I ended up with a signed photo with Misha Collins and a signed photo with Rob Benedict. Rob was very kind! Emma, Bonnie and I had our names on a sticky note so that Rob knew how to spell our names; however, we didn’t tell him who was who. So Rob tried to guess which name belonged to each of us. It was quite funny. Then, as he was signing, he was thinking to himself how to finish his message to us and we were saying to him, “how about ‘love from Rob’, ‘thinking of you always’, ‘see you later on tonight’?” Rob just started laughing at us, lol. After he was finished he asked us if we wanted the sticky notes back but we said he could keep them and, as we walked away, we saw him stick the sticky notes to himself and keep them there for the remainder of the signing time! The day spent at the Supernatural Convention really was one of the best days of my life!

With June came my 18th birthday. Never having been one for big celebrations I decided to just have a simple get-together with a few of my friends for lunch at my house. It was nothing fancy but it was nice to have my friends around to celebrate. On the night of the 13th Emma and Elly stayed over so that they could be there with me when I officially turned 18. It was very sweet of them and, at exactly 12am, we cut my birthday cake; a Freddo Frog Ice-Cream Cake! I wasn’t the only one to turn 18 this year though. Beginning with Bec in May and ending with Emma in December, 2010 was the year that majority of my friends and I all became legal! We still have a few people in our group who are yet to cross over into official and legal adulthood, however when their time comes, I guarantee that it’ll go off just as everyone else’s has. Of course, with legality came a few privileges, like being able to drink alcohol and go out clubbing! Not that I’m really one for clubbing, in fact, I can’t stand it. However, get a few drinks into me and I’m more than willing to show off my moves on the dance floor, lol. Not that I even have any ‘moves’, lol. It has been fun though, regardless of whether it’s my ‘thing’ or not. Just being out with your mates and having a good time, that’s all that really matters.

July 4, 2010: The Vampire Diaries Convention. Taking place in the same auditorium at Melbourne University as the Supernatural Convention was held, Emma and I got to meet the cast members of the television show, The Vampire Diaries. The events of the day took place in very much the same fashion as the Supernatural convention in May. At this convention, though, we were lucky enough to meet the three main stars of the show, Nina Dobrev (Elena), Paul Wesley (Stefan) and Ian Somerhalder (Damon). Looking back on the day I remember how gorgeous and smart Nina was, how ripped Paul’s arms were and how incredibly intelligent and passionate Ian was. Emma and I got photos together; one with Ian and one with Paul. As we walked towards Ian to get our photo taken he looked at us both and said “look, two tall fine lovely ladies”. Gosh, that sent Emma and me into a spin, lol. Later on we then got our photo with Ian signed. These conventions are such a great opportunity to get up close and personal with the actors and actresses of your favourite television shows and I hope that I get to attend more of them in the near future!

2010 was also the year that I got to attend four concerts in the space of 3 months, even if 2 of the gigs were for the same band, lol. October 13, December 1, December 14 and December 15 were the dates I got to see Paramore at Sidney Myer Music Bowl, U2 at Etihad Stadium and Muse x2 at Rod Laver Arena, respectively. All three acts were incredible all in their own regards. Going to these gigs has made me want to go to more concerts more frequently! However, that would mean I need to get a job so I have to money to be able to do these things… There’s no question about it, Muse was my favourite act. I couldn’t possibly go into detail now about my Musing adventures because it would honestly take up too much time. I recommend you visit this post (link to be posted later) if you want to read all about Muse. And this one if you want to read about U2.

While on the subject of Muse I’ll take this opportunity to mention my meeting Muse at Melbourne airport earlier this month. On December 12, my fellow musers and myself went to the airport to try and meet Muse as they arrived in Melbourne for their Melbourne leg of the Resistance Tour. It must have been our lucky day because the boys did indeed arrive that day and we were able to stop them, talk with them and get photos. It was easily one of the greatest days of my entire life! I unfortunately was unable to get a photo with Matt or even talk with him for that matter, but I was able to talk and get photos and signatures from Chris and Dom! That’s right; I got a photo with Dominic Howard and I got my ‘Butterflies and Hurricanes’ 7” vinyl signed. It was an amazing day! Not just the fact that we met them, but just chilling at the airport with an awesome group of people!

December 3, 2010: Hamish and Andy’s Thank You Tour, Sidney Myer Music Bowl. Emma, Elly and myself headed out into the city so that we could be there as radio and TV personalities, Hamish Blake and Andy Lee, broadcast their last radio show. They will be back next year, but only once a week instead of every weekday. This Thank You Tour was their way of saying, as the title itself explains, thank you to Australia. It was a great day filled with lots of laughter and musical performances. Michael Paynter and John Farnham were scheduled to play during the show and, Daryl Braithwaite made an appearance, as well as Newton Faulkner via video but, it was surprise musical guests U2 who really stole the show when they rocked up to perform.

2010 has been a big mixture of emotions. On one hand it has been one of the worst years, with the deaths in our family and my motivation for everything in general being at an all time low. Yet, on the other hand, having the chance to meet the cast of both Supernatural and The Vampire Diaries, as well as meeting the members of Muse and attending the Muse concerts, has made it one of the best years ever. I suppose the good and the bad equalled out, creating some kind of natural balance. However, despite all that has happened this year, I wouldn’t trade it in for anything. 2010 has brought with it new memories, new experiences, new friendships; and it’s the people I got to share these things with that have made everything so much more memorable.

So here is a little something for one of the most important and influential friendships in my life and something for the few new friendships that I have formed this year.

Emma
You’re my best friend! You have quite literally been there for me this entire year, no matter the reason. Whether you knew it at the time or not, you helped me so much during the most difficult time of my life. You were the first one I was on the phone to; you listened to me and respected what I wanted during that time, regardless of whatever it was. You gave me space when I needed it and comforted me when the time called for it. Simply being around you and in your presence helps in any situation. You’re one of those ‘glass-half-full’ types of people who tries to look on the bright side no matter what. Remember, there’s always a silver lining; a ‘light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel’, so to speak, lol. You put so much energy into being there for your friends and that’s something I admire about you. This year you have been there with me for pretty much every monumental event. We got to go to two conventions together and fan-girl over our favourite celebrities. We went to Hamish and Andy together and got to see the boys off in style! Admittedly, you were the second person I called after I met Muse, but that was cos I had to ring Ev so we could go insane over Dom together. But regardless, you were the one I called when everyone else was on the phone to their families and loved ones. That’s because you’re more than my best friend; you’re my sister. You’re a part of my family now, as you well know. You have been accepted with open arms into the Keen household, lol. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing together; whether it be sitting on the couch watching movies and having a food-fest or going out on pub crawls (which are going to be so much fun, lol), I just enjoy spending time with you. Next year is going to be so much fun; freedom at last! I don’t need to hope that we can create some more awesome memories together because I know that that’s a given! Love you, girl!

Ashleigh
It doesn’t matter that I only met you this year because it feels like I’ve known you for so much longer. You can officially go down in my history books as the first online friend who I met up with in real life and who has also stayed the night at my house, lol. And that’s a good thing because that means I feel comfortable with you. It’s uncanny how much we have in common but, as we have both decided, that stopped being weird long ago! Our similarities go beyond a mutual love for Shia LaBeouf and Dominic Howard and Muse; we’re very similar in personal traits and those aspects of ourselves that make us who we are. It’s for that reason that I think we get along so well; because we understand each other. Earlier this year we said that we would get to meet Dom together and, guess what, we did it!!! We met Dom together, we met Muse together and we got to rock out at Muse together on the barrier! I’m so glad that I was able to share in that experience with you and, hopefully, there will be many more experiences like that in the future that we can join in together!

Evelyn
Oh, Evelyn; my muser sister! I was trying to think back to how I even got started talking to you and, you know, I think I remembered how. I’m pretty sure Ash was talking about sticking posters up on her wall and wanted to know if using sticky-tape or blu-tac was better. I told Ash that I use blu-tac but put little squares of sticky-tape on the back corners to stop the poster from ripping or discolouring. You must have seen Ash’s question because you started talking to her about it too. Then you started talking to me about different methods of sticking up posters, lol. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s how we started talking regularly, lol. Then our friendship progressed! You sent out nightly twitpics of Muse and that’s how we discovered we were both Dom-girls! From there I got Dom-pics dedicated to me nightly! Before we knew it you were stalking me everywhere, lol! Twitter, Facebook, muse.mu, MSN, mobile number… It got out of control, lol. But I wouldn’t change anything about it! I don’t think I know anyone else out there who knows as much about Muse as what you do! It’s quite incredible actually. Together we can go off on quite a tangent making up impossible Muse fantasies which, hopefully for our sake, don’t remain merely a fantasy forever, lol. Not to mention you’re the one who got me into QI and, consequently, began filling my head with more random and useless facts! I’m very grateful for the fact that you accepted me for who I am so easily! You know I’m strange and it doesn’t bother you. And, despite the fact that we live in neighbouring states, we FINALLY got to meet one another at the Muse concerts in Melbourne! But not before we got to share, two days beforehand, an epic Muse/Dominic meeting! You had your ninja stalking skills in top gear that day! Thank you for everything you've done for me this year and all the memories you've given me! Here's to many more next year!

Lucy
Lucy, you are such an amazing chick! I am so very grateful that I found you all the way over there in Scotland via the very useful internet! I can't begin to tell you how much it means to have you in my life. It's so strange how, for two people who have never met before, we can be such good friends! I've loved all those crazy and perverted conversations we've had over MSN and TinyChat this past year, even if it means I was up until 4am on a school night, lol. We kicked it off so well so quickly, it was great! And then once we found out each other’s love for fanfic, well, let's just say I think Ev sometimes got a bit worried about us, lol. You really are like the older sister that I never had! I can talk to you about anything at anytime and I like that; it feels comfortable! It is going to be my mission to visit you, Lucy! It will happen! I know it will. And then you can come to Australia and I'll take you to visit the penguins! Thank you, Lucy, for being a part of my life this year! It's been so much fun! And I know that next year will be just as, if not more, awesome!

Julian
Well, where to begin, eh? We met because of the MTV poll and I was trying to find 'fans of Muse' (I didn't know they were called 'musers' at the time) to help vote. And I was telling you about all the hate that was going on between the two fanbases. And because you couldn't log onto the website to comment, you gave me some 'Dead Star' lyrics to post and, as a result, I copped so much hate from the My Chemical Romance fans, lol. And thus began our friendship! From that moment on we simply began talking to each other on Twitter and, to this day, we still do! (And Facebook and muse.mu and MSN and TinyChat.. lol). And it's cos of all the 4am conversations that I've gotten to know you so well! To quote myself and reiterate everything I've already told you, I consider it an honour to have been able to get to know you this year. Though we are so far away in actual distance, I feel that in reality we are so close to one another in spirit. I know that no matter what situation I find myself in I can always come to you for guidance and support. Not to mention you always encourage me to do my best and to be my best. It means a lot. So thank you for everything this year, it's been fun! Now for 2011!

I’m sure there is so much more that happened and so much more I want to say but, for now, this will have to suffice!

Day Nine - Someone You Wish You Could Meet

Dear someone I wish I could meet,

Goodness, do you know how many people I could write this to?? There is a multitude of bands, actors, authors and overseas friends who I want to meet! So, I suppose I'll write this to three groups of people I want to meet the most!

blink-182; my favourite band since the impressionable age of 11. At first it was innocent enough, songs such as 'I Miss You' and 'Feeling This' (that was before I realised what 'Feeling This' was all about!).. but then came along the rest of your albums, and slowly songs such as 'Family Reunion' and 'I Wanna **** A Dog' found their way onto my radar! lol. And from then on my innocence was gone! lol. But amongst all the toilet humour, nudity and punk rock attitude were three best friends that I looked up to. Yes, a lot of your songs are immature as all hell, but you also had the ability to write such emotional songs such as 'Adam's Song' and 'Stay Together For The Kids'. My favourite song of all time, by any artist, is your song 'Not Now'. Over the years you guys have somewhat matured, but that child inside has never disappeared! You guys don't care what anybody thinks about you; you go out and have a great time and enjoy yourselves!! Given that I was only 12 going on 13 when you went on your 'indefinite hiatus', I was heartbroken because I thought that any opportunity to ever meet you or see you live was lost! But I didn't give up hope! And what do you know, 5 years later and you're back together!! My opportunity to meet you guys is still there!! (mind you, I was/am pissed that I had to go through all of highschool without ANY new material.. but suppose there's nothing I can do about that..) If I could meet you guys one day, it would be a dream come true!!

Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles (my Supernatural boys); again, to meet you guys would be a dream! Granted, my love for you probably borders on the lines of obsessive insanity, but at least you know you're loved ;) . My favourite television show is Supernatural, and to have you guys star in it is like woah!! XD Over the five seasons that SPN has aired I have seen you both develop as actors! On camera you are a joy to watch, off camera you are unbelievably funny and amazing!! The chemistry between you guys on camera as brothers transcends into your real-life realtionship with each other! You two are just like brothers! You're both so funny, and down-to-earth!! I've missed an opportunity to meet you when you were in Aus in 2009. You only went to Sydney and completely snobbed Melbourne!! But I hope you guys can come back! Meeting Misha Collins was amazing, and I kinda freaked out in his presence and totally went all fangirl.. and I have a suspicion that if I were to meet you guys there's a very high chance of me possibly passing out.. but it would all be worth it!!

And finally, Muse; Dominic, Matthew and Chris!! I can't begin to tell you how much it would mean to me if I could meet you! You have done so much for me and given me so much to live for; I could never thank you enough. Music means everything to me; music is my life. When I have nothing/no one else to turn to, music is always there. Music is timeless. Music can connect with you in ways that nothing else can. It has the ability to tell stories of love and loss; of hope and despair. Music can be the voice of millions of people; it goes beyond the words, with a simple melody being able to capture more than words themselves ever could. Muse, you succeed in producing music such as this. Your music speaks to me like nothing ever has before. Your music inspires me, it connects with me, it gives me hope. You have turned my life around in more ways than one. It is through you that I have started to understand myself on a different level. I have found within myself a confidence to be who I am and to not let people hold me back. I am able to be myself without any fear of other peoples reactions. Whether it be Dom's fashion sense, Chris's unbelievable kindness, or Matt's eccentric behaviour, all three things have made me realise that it's okay to be who I am. Muse's overall "outsider" reputation has taught me that it's okay to not always fit in; that to be on the outside makes way for endless possibilities. Matthew, your lyrics are so inspirational to me. There are those songs that you write about space and aliens and governmental repression, but then there are songs that speak to the soul; that speak to the inner lost adolescent within all of us. I won't name all my favourite songs and lyrics, because that list would go on forever, but lines such as 'best, you've got to be the best/ you've got to change the world/ and use this chance to be heard/ your time is now' (Butterflies and Hurricanes), 'wash me away/ clean your body of me/ erase all the memories/ they'll only bring us pain/ and I've seen/ all I'll ever need' (Citizen Erased), 'and tonight we can truly say/ together we're invincible' (Invincible), 'let's conspire to re-ignite all the souls that would die just to feel alive' (Starlight), 'when you've seen/ too much, too young/ soulless is everywhere' (New Born), 'I'm lost, crushed, cold and confused with no guiding light left inside' (Guiding Light), speak to me and give me a voice when I can't find the words by myself. Muse, you're an inspiration to me; you are my muse (bada bing!), and to be able to meet you would make my life!

-Jyssica.

Supernatural: The Monster At The End Of This Book

A man lies on his couch and has vision of Dean and Sam.

At a comic book store, Dean and Sam arrive pretending to be FBI agents and talk to the owner. They ask about flickering lights, strange noises, and cold spots, and the owner thinks they're playing a live action role-playing game. The owner thinks they're pretending to be Sam and Dean, supernatural hunters from a rare series of books. He shows them the first book, written by Carver Edlund, which tells the tale of two handsome hunters battling the Woman in White.

The brothers buy all the books and determine everything in the books follows their lives, and the last book tells of Dean going to Hell. After checking the Supernatural fan sites, the guys try to track down author Carver Edlund. When that doesn't pan out, they go to the publishing office and talk to Edlund's publisher. She oohs and ahhs over Dean and Sam in the books being so brave. She wonders about their credentials and they prove they know everything about their fictional counterparts. Sam then tries to get Carver Edlund's real name but the publisher refuses to give out his name until they show their tattoos. She shows them her own tattoo on her butt and Dean is duly impressed. She gives them the address of Chuck Shurley, the author's real name.

Chuck is working on a new Supernatural. story about Dean and Sam approaching a ramshackle house, as outside Dean and Sam approach Chuck's ramshackle house. Just as he finishes writing them ringing the doorbell, they ring the doorbell. They explain who they are but he doesn't believe them. The brothers persist and demand to know how he knows so much about them. He doesn't believe them until they show him the Impala and their trunk of hunting equipment. When they mention the most recent events that he hasn't published, and their last names that he never published, he finally accepts they're who they say he is. Chuck thinks he's a god and blames himself for ruining their lives. They figure he's psychic and ask if he's writing on anything now. Chuck tells them his latest book features him writing himself into the book as an author who meets his characters.

The guys go to a nearby laundromat to read Chuck's newest manuscript which is detailing everything they're doing. Meanwhile, Chuck is at home and having visions of Sam meeting an attractive blonde woman in a hotel and going to bed with her. He jerks awake, horrified.

The guys go back to Chuck and he tells them that Lilith is coming for Sam that night and will seduce Sam into fiery demonic passion. Sam doesn't believe it and Dean points out Lilith is a little girl. This time she possesses a dental hygienist from Indiana. Sam insists he won't go to bed with Lilith but Dean isn't so sure. They take the manuscript and Sam reads a section of Dean putting on flowered band-aids after an accident, and a tarp covering the rear window. Dean warns they're not ready for a match with Lilith. As they get to the town boundary, the police warn that the bridge is out and there's no other way out of town.

The guys go to a diner and Dean suggests they do the exact opposite of what the book says. Dean orders a veggie tofu burger for starters. Sam suggests they try to get the jump on Lilith using the story. Dean doesn't believe it but they try to argue calmly, the opposite of how they usually do. Dean gets his veggie tofu burger and thinks it's delicious… until the waitress admits she gave him his usual bacon-and-cheeseburger.

The guys pull into a by-the-hour motel, the Toreador, which has nothing to do with the "Red Motel" the book says they'll be staying at. Dean puts out hex bags then tells Sam to stay put, watch porn, and avoid doing any homework while he searches for Lilith. However, as he leaves, all of the lights on the Toreador sign go out except RED. Dean parks the Impala, but as he walks away he spots two kids breaking into it and tries to stop them. As he crosses the street he gets hit by a minivan.

Sam calls Chuck to the motel and asks if he knows about the demon blood. Chuck knows and points out that Sam has to know sucking blood is wrong. Sam admits he can't stop, but he thinks Dean can't handle stopping the Apocalypse. Chuck suggests Sam does it because he likes the feeling of power, and admits that as far as he can tell it's all coming down to Sam.

Dean wakes up as the woman driver apologizes to him. Her daughter has put flowered bandages on Dean, and the thieves broke the back window of the Impala. He puts a tarp on the window and goes to see Chuck at his home. Dean wants answers, but Castiel arrives to tell him that Chuck is a prophet of the Lord. He's honored to meet Chuck, who admits even he didn't believe what his visions were telling him. Castiel explains that some day the books will be known as the Winchester Gospels. A nervous Chuck slips out and Dean asks how they keep Sam from meeting with Lilith. Castiel warns that Chuck's prophecies can't be unwritten.

Dean drives back to the motel, sees the broken sign, and realizes they're at the wrong hotel. He tells Sam they're leaving but Sam reveals he's burned the hex bags and plans to stay. Dean explains Chuck the Prophet but Sam thinks he has to take Lilith on. Dean figures Sam will go dark side and says Castiel told him all about it. He demands answers but Sam has nothing to say. Dean packs to leave and Sam insists that he's staying. Dean has no choice but to stay.

As he goes to get drinks, a desperate Dean prays to God for help. Castiel appears and says his praying is a good thing. He admits he can't interfere, and Dean says he hasn't asked for anything until now. Castiel says intervention in divine prophecy isn't within his power and apologizes.. Dean warns that he won't be available when they need him. Castiel suggests that if anything threatens a prophet, an archangel will appear to protect him, and they're Heaven's most terrifying weapons. Dean figures out what he's hinting at and drives to get Chuck and bring him to the motel. Chuck is reluctant to get involved, insisting he's just a writer, and Dean tries to inspire him. Chuck still refuses and Dean says he has a gun, and will see who's faster: Dean, or the archangel.

At the motel, there's a knock at the door. Sam opens it but there's no one there. As he closes the door and turns, Lilith appears behind him, her eyes turning white. He tells her the knife is on the nightstand by the bed, but she pulls aside the rug to reveal a devil's trap. She destroys it and tells Sam he'll have to try harder, and he tries to use his power against her. It doesn't work, but she admits he's immune to her powers. She offers to stand down on the opening of the Seals. All Sam has to do is surrender. Lilith claims she won't survive the war against the angels and wants things back to "normal." All she wants is Sam and Dean to sacrifice themselves. When Sam refuses, Lilith wonders how he can put the lives of six billion up against his, and dares him to prove he's not like her. Sam agrees and she says they'll have to consecrate the contract with sex. Sam sit down on the bed with her and they start to have sex. However, he grabs the demon-killing knife and tries to kill her. She yanks it away from him but as Lilith prepares to deliver the final blow, Dean barges into the room with Chuck. The room starts to shake and Dean warns her what's happening. Lilith leaves the host body and departs, as everything quiets down.

Later, the guys hit the road and they figure Lilith would have weaseled out of her deal somehow and they still would be dead. Sam figures that she's scared and promises that she won't survive the Apocalypse.

Chuck is having another vision and wakes up whimpering. Zachariah is in the room and asks if he saw "it." Chuck wonders if it's all going to happen and Zachariah points out he hasn't been wrong so far. Chuck starts to call Sam and Dean to warn them, but Zachariah warns he'll stop him if he tries. Chuck threatens to kill himself but Zachariah warns they'd only bring him back. Chuck wonders what he should do, and Zachariah tells him to write.

Supernatural: It's A Terrible Life

It's morning and a well-dressed Dean Smith gets up, has coffee and breakfast, and drives to work in an expensive car. He switches the radio from heavy metal to the financial news, then drives to the Sandover Bridge & Iron Company's office building, where he goes to his office and works as director of sales and marketing. He works through the day, talks TV and diet with his co-workers, and gets a pat on the back from his boss. That night as he gets in the elevator, he finds someone looking at him: Sam. Sam thinks Dean looks familiar but Dean has no idea what he's talking about.

Sam Wesson is taking calls in Tech Support and discussing dating with his co-worker, Ian. Ian wears a personal shirt rather than the company uniform and doesn't shave. They take a coffee break and invite their co-worker Paul Dunbar along. He says he's too busy and seems heavily stressed. Ian notes that he was called up to HR the previous day. In the break room, Ian steals some pencils then asks Sam about the dreams he said he was having. Sam is reluctant but finally admits he had a dream of saving a Grim Reaper named Tessa. Ian thinks it's hilarious. Later, Sam is dozing off at his desk and has a dream of him and someone who looks like Dean Smith killing people.

Sam gets on the elevator and notices Dean again, and stares at him intently. After everyone else gets off and they're alone, Sam asks him what he thinks about ghosts and vampires. He tells Dean about his dreams and wonders if Dean has been having them. Dean denies having any dreams and quickly gets off of the elevator.

Later, Sam is sketching out his dreams and doing a web search on vampires. Ian comes over to see what he's doing and then tells Sam that he got an e-mail ordering him up to HR. Once he leaves, Sam hears Paul complaining that he lost all the work on his computer when it froze up. Paul keeps working into the night, long after everyone has left. Once he realizes that his work is lost for good, he gets up and blankly walks into the break room, breaks the tongs off of a plastic fork, uses it to jam the microwave latch to make it appear closed, and sticks his head in. He then turns on the power and dies.

The next morning, everyone watches as Paul's corpse is taken out. Dean notices Sam looking at him again and notes to a co-worker that something seems wrong. He goes to his office and runs a check on Paul, and discovers that he was having a retirement party in two weeks. Sam has discovered the same thing and wonders why Paul would have killed himself two weeks before retirement. He tries to talk to Ian about it but Ian snaps at him and tells him that his work is important. He's now shaved and wearing a company shirt. They're interrupted when Dean calls him into his office to fill out a form. Ian starts to panic and apologizes profusely. He runs out of the office, sobbing, and goes to a restroom. Dean goes after him and notices that the room has turned colder. A red liquid starts pouring from the faucets and spilling out onto the floor. Ian takes out a pencil and stabs himself in the neck with it. Dean looks up and sees a reflection of an old man in a business suit, but can't find any sign of him in the room.

The police question Dean, but he doesn't say anything about the temperature drop, the liquid, or the strange apparition. Later, Dean calls Sam into his office and Sam explains he started there three weeks ago. Dean notes he did too, and Sam asks if he saw something in the bathroom. Dean finally admits he saw a ghost but thinks he hallucinated it. Sam thinks there may be something supernatural going on, but doesn't have anything to back up his suspicions except his dreams. He tells Dean that both Paul and Ian received e-mails from HR telling them to go to Room 1444, even though HR is on the 7th floor. They agree to check it out immediately.

Another Sandover employee is summoned to Room 1444. The door is old fashioned and inside are nothing but storage shelves. The door closes behind the employee and he can't get it open. The employee notices the temperature drop as all of the computer monitors switch on by themselves. Dean and Sam arrive outside and hear the man yelling. Sam kicks the door in and finds the employee trapped beneath some shelves. The ghost of the old man shoves aside Dean and Sam, then raises a hand crackling with electricity. He starts to touch the employee but Dean hits it with an iron wrench, dissipating it. He admits to Sam he has no idea how he knew what to do.

Back in Dean's office, Sam wonders if they've done this kind of thing before, and he has a feeling that he doesn't belong there and he should be doing something else. They do some research and Dean finds the Ghost Facers site. Ed Zeddemore and Harry Spengler have a recorded instructional video and recommend intrepid ghost hunters figure out who they're up against. Sam discovers that the founder, P.T. Sandover, was a workaholic. Further, there were a number of suicides at Sandover in the past during the Great Depression. They figure Sandover appears during times of economic depression, and drives employees to kill themselves if they fail the country. Room 1444 was P.T. Sandover's office.

Dean and Sam go back to the video where the Ghost Facers say that salt and iron work against ghosts. They mention that they hate the Winchesters, but admit they use shotguns and burn up the remains. Ed and Harry say that if you can't find the body, you have to burn any remnants that are left. Sandover was cremated so they back to Room 1444 to find any trace of him. As they search, a security guard spots Sam and takes him to the elevator. As they start to descend, the electronics go on the fritz and the temperature drops. The elevator jerks to a halt and the security guard manages to get the doors open. They're halfway between floors and the security guard climbs up. Sam is reluctant to follow him.

Dean keeps searching Sandover's old office and finds a framed picture of a bridge that Sandover helped build.

The security guard comes back to get Sam, and the elevator goes down, decapitating the man. Sam goes back upstairs and Dean tells him to meet on the 22nd floor. Among the displays are Sandover's gloves. Dean breaks open the case and the temperature drops as the ghost appears behind them. It shoves them both away and then advances on Sam. He uses salt to drive it away but it appears behind Dean. Sam tosses him an iron poker which Dean uses to dissipate the ghost. It keeps appearing and reappearing until it manages to knock them down and advances on Dean. Sam grabs the gloves and sets them on fire, and the ghost burns up.

Back in Dean's office, they both admit they've never had so much fun in their lives. Sam suggests that they do it for real but Dean is reluctant to just hit the road and fight ghosts. Sam tells him that in his dreams, the two of them fought ghosts together and were as close as brothers. He wonders if that's who they really are, and the ghost scrambled their brains. Dean insists that his life is real, but Sam asks when the last time he talked to his family was. Sam has been unable to get hold of the girlfriend he broke up with, and is sure that they're supposed to be something else. Dean insists that Sam doesn't really know him and tells him to go.

The next day, Dean and Sam are back at work. Sam finally has enough, picks up a poker, and smashes his phone. He tells everyone that he's quitting and walks off.

Mr. Adler comes to see Dean and says he's pleased with what he's hearing about Dean. He gives Dean a bonus and insists he wants to be sure that Dean doesn't go anywhere. Adler assures Dean that with eight to ten years of hard work, he could become a senior executive. Dean thanks him and then gives him his notice. Adler doesn't believe it but Dean explains that he's recently realized he has other work to do, and he's not who he's supposed to be. Adler chuckles and then touches Dean's forehead. Dean finds his memories restored and wonders why he's wearing a suit. "Adler" explains that he's Zachariah, Castiel's superior. He's not happy with Dean's attitude, and admits he set up the entire thing to show Dean that hunting is what he does. Zachariah assures Dean that he'll stop the Apocalypse, and that he has the chance to save people and change things. He tells Dean to stop whining, because there are plenty of fates worse than his. He asks if Dean is ready to stand up and be who he really is.