Long time, no write..

So much time has passed since my last entry here you'd think I'd have a million things to write about! Well, unfortunately, that's not the case. Pretty much this entire year has consisted of me doing the same old thing, day in, day out. However, in the passed few weeks I think I've finally started to get somewhere and form some kind of idea as to what I'm actually going to do next year..

I used to want to write, and I'm not ruling it out entirely, but for now that's just not what I want to do. I then started toying with the idea of perhaps studying psychology, cos I do have quite an interest in that area. But again, I can't see myself wanting to do that right now. Then I figured I need to sit down and think about what I'm interested in and what I can see myself enjoying. It didn't take very long for me to come to the conclusion that if I'm ever going to settle down I need to first get travelling out of my system. And for those that know me, they all know that the one place I've been itching to visit is Canada. Whether that mean I move to Canada for a few years and study or work there, or just simply take a trip there, I don't know. All I do know is that until I've actually been there, I'm going to constantly imagine some sort of life over there that I don't have here in Australia. With this in mind a few ideas started to take shape. The one that sits most comfortably with me, in the long run, is to perhaps do flight attending, or some kind of work that involves working at an airport. I love everything about airports and can definitely see it as being an environment I would enjoy working in.

With this being the 'dream' at the moment, it gives me something to at least start aiming towards and it gives me motivation to actually find courses I might be interested in doing. One reason why travelling and airports appeal to me so much is because I love languages. A part from my own keen interest in learning another language, this gives me the perfect incentive to go out and actually learn a second language, or at least the fundamentals. Having done Japanese at a VCE level, I'd love to continue on with that, as well as also taking up French. After all, French ties into my Canadian obsession as I really want to spend some time in Quebec. I understand that there are some differences between French and French Canadian, but knowing some basic French would be better than knowing nothing at all.

Now that I've actually been able to figure out what I'm interested in doing, it's been much easier to go out and start looking for ways to make this happen. Today I went to the Youth Information Centre in town and explained my situation to the lady there, about how I'm a deferred university student who doesn't really want to go down that track and if she could point me in the right direction to something more suited to what I want to do. She was very helpful and gave me a booklet full of short courses at Chisholm TAFE, which is exactly the type of thing I was looking for. University holds no interest for me.. I hated school and can't bring myself to go back to that sort of education. I don't want to be locked into a a 4 year course at university. The idea of that just freaks me out. I'd much rather a series of short courses that I have the option of furthering if I wish to. Chisholm offer short courses at various different levels for both Japanese and French, which is fantastic. It means I can start with the very basics of French and progress however I want to. Ultimately I'll still be learning these languages, just in a way that I'm more comfortable with. Also, there's hospitality courses that I think I would benefit from doing, such as a Bar Attendants course or Responsible Serving of Alcohol. It wouldn't hurt to at least have these skills up my sleeve. Not to mention there's also a course for Flight Attendant Interview Training, so down the track that could very well come in handy.

This is pretty much where I am at the moment in terms of my ideas for schooling and what I want to do next year. I'm also still in the progress of looking for a job. It has not been easy at all! I know the fact that I'm so incredibly picky doesn't help, but still, I think I might be getting somewhere. I've handed my resume out to places that are looking for applicants. I don't want to get my hopes up, because with my luck I shouldn't expect anything, but I'm really hoping to get a job at Sanity. Of all the places that I've applied, that's the one I really want. Again, it's about feeling comfortable in my work environment, and I'd feel so comfortable working at a music store! So fingers crossed.

Onto something that's even more exciting than my future (that was sarcasm, by the way. My future is not exciting..), I have tickets to see Simple Plan in October! Let me tell you, I haven't felt this excited for something in a very long time! As a member of the SP Crew, I've also been able to put my name down to get on the list to their soundcheck party before the concert! Oh, if I get to see them twice in one day.. it'll blow my mind. I simply cannot wait for this show! Honestly, this band is the source of my current motivation. I owe quite a lot to these five guys. I could go on forever about my excitement levels for this coming show, so I'm going to save you from my insanity by shutting up now.

Hey there, it's been a while. I actually have quite a few posts saved as drafts, I just haven't got around to finishing them. Honestly, I cannot be bothered to write anything. Scrap that, I cannot be bothered to do anything. However, that right there is a completely different story-- one that I have no intention of really getting into right now; words have escaped me. I've just decided that the world doesn't need to hear about my problems and excessive whining, hence why a lot of my recent posts (the ones that I have actually got around to posting) are about music and anything but what's going on inside my crazy head. Trust me, no one wants to know about that madness. Instead I have adopted a more personal outlet for those ponderings; a journal. It's been quite some time since I've maintained a journal. It'll be interesting to see how long it actually lasts.

Anyway, I forgot why I even started this post in the first place. At least you know now that I'm still alive.

Jyssica's Baking Creations

Staying true to my word, I spent the later part of the afternoon baking and, I even took photographical evidence to prove it! Mind you, I didn't walk down to the shops to get the ingredients I needed; instead I waited until mum got home at 12:30pm and together we went down to Safeway.

Anyway, I made Chocolate Ripple Cake (which, let's face it, really isn't hard to make) and Choc-Chip Cupcakes with Meringue Icing. I was also going to make some Triple-Choc Fudge Brownies, but I had to pick my brothers up from school and, seeing as how I only started cooking at about 2pm, I thought what I accomplished in one hour was reasonable. I think I might bake those brownies tomorrow, as I'm pretty sure I'll be spending the night at Emma's house tonight, so it'll give us something to do tomorrow.

P.S; Elly passed her driving test today and got her licence :)

Bands, Birthdays, Baking and Beyond!

Today I found myself, for the first time, entering the Flight Centre at my local shopping complex to finally book my flights to Sydney! HOORAY! It's now official; I will be travelling to Sydney for the Soundwave Festival!

However, seeing as how Soundwave is only a one-day event per capital city, I shall be venturing off to do other things during my week-long stay. On the day of my arrival, myself and the person with whom I am staying with will be waiting back at the airport in the hope that we might catch 30 Seconds To Mars as they arrive for Soundwave. If not, we shall attempt to meet them after their set at the gig. Again, if we fail to meet them after the show, we have planned to try and stalk them around the city, lol. (Seriously, it would be amazing if we could actually meet them. I mean, Jared Leto in the flesh.. hnng!)

On the 1st of March I will then be accompanying Evelyn, my Sydney muser sister, to see Sum 41! Sum 41's show is a Sidewave (a Soundwave sideshow) that will also include The Blackout, There For Tomorrow, and Veara. . As well as experiencing some more awesome music, I will finally be seeing Ev again; something that I cannot wait for!

Then, as far as I am aware, my free accommodation will run out on March 2nd, as the person with whom I am staying with will be travelling down to Melbourne to continue her 30 Seconds To Mars hunt! So that leaves me in need of somewhere to stay. What I have planned is to catch a bus up to where Grace lives which, mind you, is a 7.5hr trip! Hopefully I'll get there by 3pm-ish so that I can pick my friend up from school! (I've never actually met Grace before, so this will be my first time meeting her; and how do I go about our first meet-up? Why, picking her up from school, of course!) Then, if it's okay with her parents, I'll spend the night at her house; because a 7.5hr trip back into the city at the time of the day would be ridiculous for someone who doesn't know the area! So then on March 3rd I'll book into a backpackers hostel where I'll stay for 2 nights.

The plan is then to meet up with all the Sydney musers on March 5th; the first time a lot of us will all be together again since December 14/15 at the Muse shows in Melbourne! And, for those musers who didn't come down to Melbourne, this will be the first time I get to meet them all, and vice versa. Then afterwards I'll head straight to the airport to catch my flight back home to Melbourne.

So pretty much I'm looking forward to this trip a lot! I'll be independent and travelling solo! Not to mention I'll be in the presence of insane music and amazing people!!

That's my trip planned for next week; but while in Melbourne I still have things to do this week..

Tomorrow is my friend Elly's 18th birthday! Friday afternoon just gone I spent with Emma and Kaitlyn making Elly a photoboard for her birthday, which looks fabulous! And today I spent the day with Emma, and Kailtlyn for part of the day, putting the remaining photos into a scrapbook. Scrapbooks and photoframes/boards are something that my group of friends tend to do for one another when our birthdays come around. It mightn't sound like much but, believe me, they really look good. And it's nice to have something like that to look back on. Elly is also going for her drivers licence tomorrow, so I really hope she gets that! Then, if we can sort something out, a bunch of us might take Elly out for some drinks, seeing as how she'll officially be legal! However, Thursday night will be Elly's official birthday dinner, so either way we'll all be getting together to do something for her :)

Also, while at Emma's this evening, after the beautiful lunch that Kaitlyn made for us during the day, Emma and I decided to make an Orange Cake. I had to leave before it had finished baking, but according to the feedback I've heard from Emma, her family approved of it! So now we've caught the Baking Bug and tomorrow during the day we've said we'll go on a baking spree! In order to do that though I'll have to get up relevantly early, which in my case means before 11am, so that I'll be able to walk down to the shops so I can get some ingredients to cook with! Depending on how it all turns out, I might post some pictures of whatever creations I come up with, lol.

However, for now that's all; just thought I'd post a little bit of an update cos it's been a while since I posted a random update, lol.

2010 Wrap-Up!

It’s come to that time of the year again where I cosy in and reflect upon the year that was. With so much having happened this year it’s hard to know where to begin so, I’ll do what’s easiest, and start at the beginning.

It’s safe to say that the end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010 was one of the worst introductions into a new year that my family has had in a long time. Within the space of four months we had three deaths within our family. December 21, January 24 and March 1 saw the unfortunate loss of Uncle Eddy, Aunty Mary and Grandpa, respectively. It was a very difficult period for the entire extended family, however, more specifically, it was extremely difficult for my Grandma who lost her son, her sister and her husband. The sudden loss of three family members took its toll on everyone in a number of different ways and, regrettably, due to legal reasons, certain issues were dragged out longer than necessary, hence prolonging the grieving period. I know that for me personally I will always be affected by certain things that will trigger memories or take me back to a time when I could still see my loved ones as I wished, however I know that that is completely normal, and for as long as I hold onto my memories of them they will never be forgotten, living on forever in hearts of those who they touched.

Also in January I finally got my learners permit. I may have been 2 years late on actually sitting the test, but at least I passed it and earned my right to drive on the roads. As a learner I have to have my permit for a minimum of one year before I can go for my driver’s license. On top of that I also have to have a minimum of 120 hours of driving practise. Keeping all of this in mind I set myself a goal; to get at least 10 hours of driving up a month so that by the time my one year is up I’ll have my 120 hours. Well, luckily for me, I had my 120 hours up within 10 months, so all I need now is to book some lessons before my instructor feels I am ready to go for my license. Not that I am in any rush of course. I don’t have my own car and I don’t really have anywhere I need to drive to that public transport can’t get me to. I’m just hoping that by sometime in February I’ll have my license.

2010 also saw me enter my final year at high school, the most important year, becoming a year 12 VCE student at St.Peter’s College. It was a year of my schooling that, for the first time in my life, I wasn’t looking forward to in the slightest. Usually before I return to school each year I want nothing more than for school holidays to last forever, however, there’s normally a part of me that actually wants to go back. This time though, as I prepared myself to start off my last year, there wasn’t a single ounce of my being that wanted to be back at school. Consequently, I spent my entire year wishing for it to be over and just trying to make it by, one day at a time. Admittedly there were moments when I enjoyed being at school, like if there was a certain topic we were studying that I had an interest in or if we were learning something that I actually wanted to learn about. And, of course, being able to spend every day with my friends is a big bonus! (Probably the very best thing about being at school!) But, other than that, I would arrive at school every morning just counting down the hours until the bell sounded to go home. I began the school year in the wrong mind frame and with no motivation and, as a result, I was never going to have a productive year unless I changed my mentality. As much as I wanted to change my approach to school, the desire wasn’t strong enough, so basically I just ‘got by’. I always knew that I had the potential to do better than what I was doing and, that when the time came at the end of the year for everyone sit exams and get our ATAR scores, I knew I would regret the minimal effort I put into my school work. Luckily for me though, according to everyone else, I have enough ‘natural intelligence’ and I was able to get a reasonable ATAR score. So all in all I suppose I did what I had to in order to pass VCE and successfully complete my formal education.

The first school holidays, during the month of March, is when I think my world got turned up-side-down slightly. My family went away for a basketball tournament that Jack was playing in and, seeing as how I didn’t want to go, I got to spend that time at home by myself! During my days of freedom I watched a lot of TV (even if the only TV I watched was Muse’s HAARP DVD on repeat, all day, every day) and I spent a lot of time online. And this is where I found myself slowly emerging myself, oblivious at the time to the long-term consequences, into a world that I would never return from. It all started when I was randomly looking through some music websites until I stumbled across an MTV poll, what for I don’t remember, between My Chemical Romance and Muse. I picked my side and set out to gain votes for Muse. The first place I went to try and recruit voters was Twitter by copying and pasting a little note attached with the link to the voting page. People began replying to me and before I knew it I found myself in the middle of this online community that I had no idea even existed! In no time at all I had a whole new following on Twitter consisting primarily of Musers; the term given to the dedicated following of British alternative rock band, Muse. From Twitter this online community took me to the Muse forums on muse.mu where I officially became a ‘boardie’. I spent the rest of the Easter holidays talking to these people and getting to know them and, from that moment on, I have never looked back. To this day I am still friends with all those musers, even having met up with them at the Muse concert in December. It would be an understatement to say that my fascination with these British rockers has consumed my life, but I honestly don’t care. I owe so much to them for giving me inspiration when I needed it and providing me with hope when my outlook was bleak. I honestly feel as if Muse changed my life. Most importantly though, had it not been for Muse, I wouldn’t have come across some of the most amazing people I know. So for that and so much more I am truly grateful.

May 9, 2010: Supernatural All Hell Breaks Loose II Convention! This was definitely a dream come true for me. I finally got to meet some of the cast members of my all time favourite television show! Unfortunately Jared and Jensen were unable to attend; however, we were graced with the presence of Samantha Ferris (Ellen Harvelle), Rob Benedict (Chuck) and Julie McNiven (Anna), Jim Beaver (Bobby Singer) and, last but not least, Misha Collins (Castiel). Joining me at the convention was Emma and Bonnie, two fellow Supernatural enthusiasts like me! We spent the day asking questions and listening to the stories that the cast would share with us. It’s very true what people say about the Supernatural cast; they are without a doubt some of the most down-to-earth celebrities you could ever come across. They were funny and intelligent and simply a great bunch of people to spend the day with. After the Q&A sessions we were given the opportunity to have professional photos taken with the cast member/s of our choice. I got a photo with Misha and then a photo with Jim! I remember my photo with Misha very clearly. We were told not to attack the actors with hugs unless they went in for the hug first. I had no intention of attacking Misha; however, as I went to put my arm out so I could be on his left side, Misha interpreted that as me wanting a hug. He then went in for the hug and, not knowing what else to do, I followed his lead. But due to the awkward position we then found ourselves in, the result was the most awkward hug in the history of hugs. I put my arm around him and my head kind of leant forward into his shoulder. Essentially, I nuzzled into Misha Collin’s shoulder, lol. And after all that I still ended up on his right side, lol. Afterwards, because we had some money left over, Bonnie, Emma and I pitched in to get a photo with Rob. Later on in the day, the last item on the agenda was the opportunity to get signatures. I ended up with a signed photo with Misha Collins and a signed photo with Rob Benedict. Rob was very kind! Emma, Bonnie and I had our names on a sticky note so that Rob knew how to spell our names; however, we didn’t tell him who was who. So Rob tried to guess which name belonged to each of us. It was quite funny. Then, as he was signing, he was thinking to himself how to finish his message to us and we were saying to him, “how about ‘love from Rob’, ‘thinking of you always’, ‘see you later on tonight’?” Rob just started laughing at us, lol. After he was finished he asked us if we wanted the sticky notes back but we said he could keep them and, as we walked away, we saw him stick the sticky notes to himself and keep them there for the remainder of the signing time! The day spent at the Supernatural Convention really was one of the best days of my life!

With June came my 18th birthday. Never having been one for big celebrations I decided to just have a simple get-together with a few of my friends for lunch at my house. It was nothing fancy but it was nice to have my friends around to celebrate. On the night of the 13th Emma and Elly stayed over so that they could be there with me when I officially turned 18. It was very sweet of them and, at exactly 12am, we cut my birthday cake; a Freddo Frog Ice-Cream Cake! I wasn’t the only one to turn 18 this year though. Beginning with Bec in May and ending with Emma in December, 2010 was the year that majority of my friends and I all became legal! We still have a few people in our group who are yet to cross over into official and legal adulthood, however when their time comes, I guarantee that it’ll go off just as everyone else’s has. Of course, with legality came a few privileges, like being able to drink alcohol and go out clubbing! Not that I’m really one for clubbing, in fact, I can’t stand it. However, get a few drinks into me and I’m more than willing to show off my moves on the dance floor, lol. Not that I even have any ‘moves’, lol. It has been fun though, regardless of whether it’s my ‘thing’ or not. Just being out with your mates and having a good time, that’s all that really matters.

July 4, 2010: The Vampire Diaries Convention. Taking place in the same auditorium at Melbourne University as the Supernatural Convention was held, Emma and I got to meet the cast members of the television show, The Vampire Diaries. The events of the day took place in very much the same fashion as the Supernatural convention in May. At this convention, though, we were lucky enough to meet the three main stars of the show, Nina Dobrev (Elena), Paul Wesley (Stefan) and Ian Somerhalder (Damon). Looking back on the day I remember how gorgeous and smart Nina was, how ripped Paul’s arms were and how incredibly intelligent and passionate Ian was. Emma and I got photos together; one with Ian and one with Paul. As we walked towards Ian to get our photo taken he looked at us both and said “look, two tall fine lovely ladies”. Gosh, that sent Emma and me into a spin, lol. Later on we then got our photo with Ian signed. These conventions are such a great opportunity to get up close and personal with the actors and actresses of your favourite television shows and I hope that I get to attend more of them in the near future!

2010 was also the year that I got to attend four concerts in the space of 3 months, even if 2 of the gigs were for the same band, lol. October 13, December 1, December 14 and December 15 were the dates I got to see Paramore at Sidney Myer Music Bowl, U2 at Etihad Stadium and Muse x2 at Rod Laver Arena, respectively. All three acts were incredible all in their own regards. Going to these gigs has made me want to go to more concerts more frequently! However, that would mean I need to get a job so I have to money to be able to do these things… There’s no question about it, Muse was my favourite act. I couldn’t possibly go into detail now about my Musing adventures because it would honestly take up too much time. I recommend you visit this post (link to be posted later) if you want to read all about Muse. And this one if you want to read about U2.

While on the subject of Muse I’ll take this opportunity to mention my meeting Muse at Melbourne airport earlier this month. On December 12, my fellow musers and myself went to the airport to try and meet Muse as they arrived in Melbourne for their Melbourne leg of the Resistance Tour. It must have been our lucky day because the boys did indeed arrive that day and we were able to stop them, talk with them and get photos. It was easily one of the greatest days of my entire life! I unfortunately was unable to get a photo with Matt or even talk with him for that matter, but I was able to talk and get photos and signatures from Chris and Dom! That’s right; I got a photo with Dominic Howard and I got my ‘Butterflies and Hurricanes’ 7” vinyl signed. It was an amazing day! Not just the fact that we met them, but just chilling at the airport with an awesome group of people!

December 3, 2010: Hamish and Andy’s Thank You Tour, Sidney Myer Music Bowl. Emma, Elly and myself headed out into the city so that we could be there as radio and TV personalities, Hamish Blake and Andy Lee, broadcast their last radio show. They will be back next year, but only once a week instead of every weekday. This Thank You Tour was their way of saying, as the title itself explains, thank you to Australia. It was a great day filled with lots of laughter and musical performances. Michael Paynter and John Farnham were scheduled to play during the show and, Daryl Braithwaite made an appearance, as well as Newton Faulkner via video but, it was surprise musical guests U2 who really stole the show when they rocked up to perform.

2010 has been a big mixture of emotions. On one hand it has been one of the worst years, with the deaths in our family and my motivation for everything in general being at an all time low. Yet, on the other hand, having the chance to meet the cast of both Supernatural and The Vampire Diaries, as well as meeting the members of Muse and attending the Muse concerts, has made it one of the best years ever. I suppose the good and the bad equalled out, creating some kind of natural balance. However, despite all that has happened this year, I wouldn’t trade it in for anything. 2010 has brought with it new memories, new experiences, new friendships; and it’s the people I got to share these things with that have made everything so much more memorable.

So here is a little something for one of the most important and influential friendships in my life and something for the few new friendships that I have formed this year.

Emma
You’re my best friend! You have quite literally been there for me this entire year, no matter the reason. Whether you knew it at the time or not, you helped me so much during the most difficult time of my life. You were the first one I was on the phone to; you listened to me and respected what I wanted during that time, regardless of whatever it was. You gave me space when I needed it and comforted me when the time called for it. Simply being around you and in your presence helps in any situation. You’re one of those ‘glass-half-full’ types of people who tries to look on the bright side no matter what. Remember, there’s always a silver lining; a ‘light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel’, so to speak, lol. You put so much energy into being there for your friends and that’s something I admire about you. This year you have been there with me for pretty much every monumental event. We got to go to two conventions together and fan-girl over our favourite celebrities. We went to Hamish and Andy together and got to see the boys off in style! Admittedly, you were the second person I called after I met Muse, but that was cos I had to ring Ev so we could go insane over Dom together. But regardless, you were the one I called when everyone else was on the phone to their families and loved ones. That’s because you’re more than my best friend; you’re my sister. You’re a part of my family now, as you well know. You have been accepted with open arms into the Keen household, lol. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing together; whether it be sitting on the couch watching movies and having a food-fest or going out on pub crawls (which are going to be so much fun, lol), I just enjoy spending time with you. Next year is going to be so much fun; freedom at last! I don’t need to hope that we can create some more awesome memories together because I know that that’s a given! Love you, girl!

Ashleigh
It doesn’t matter that I only met you this year because it feels like I’ve known you for so much longer. You can officially go down in my history books as the first online friend who I met up with in real life and who has also stayed the night at my house, lol. And that’s a good thing because that means I feel comfortable with you. It’s uncanny how much we have in common but, as we have both decided, that stopped being weird long ago! Our similarities go beyond a mutual love for Shia LaBeouf and Dominic Howard and Muse; we’re very similar in personal traits and those aspects of ourselves that make us who we are. It’s for that reason that I think we get along so well; because we understand each other. Earlier this year we said that we would get to meet Dom together and, guess what, we did it!!! We met Dom together, we met Muse together and we got to rock out at Muse together on the barrier! I’m so glad that I was able to share in that experience with you and, hopefully, there will be many more experiences like that in the future that we can join in together!

Evelyn
Oh, Evelyn; my muser sister! I was trying to think back to how I even got started talking to you and, you know, I think I remembered how. I’m pretty sure Ash was talking about sticking posters up on her wall and wanted to know if using sticky-tape or blu-tac was better. I told Ash that I use blu-tac but put little squares of sticky-tape on the back corners to stop the poster from ripping or discolouring. You must have seen Ash’s question because you started talking to her about it too. Then you started talking to me about different methods of sticking up posters, lol. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s how we started talking regularly, lol. Then our friendship progressed! You sent out nightly twitpics of Muse and that’s how we discovered we were both Dom-girls! From there I got Dom-pics dedicated to me nightly! Before we knew it you were stalking me everywhere, lol! Twitter, Facebook, muse.mu, MSN, mobile number… It got out of control, lol. But I wouldn’t change anything about it! I don’t think I know anyone else out there who knows as much about Muse as what you do! It’s quite incredible actually. Together we can go off on quite a tangent making up impossible Muse fantasies which, hopefully for our sake, don’t remain merely a fantasy forever, lol. Not to mention you’re the one who got me into QI and, consequently, began filling my head with more random and useless facts! I’m very grateful for the fact that you accepted me for who I am so easily! You know I’m strange and it doesn’t bother you. And, despite the fact that we live in neighbouring states, we FINALLY got to meet one another at the Muse concerts in Melbourne! But not before we got to share, two days beforehand, an epic Muse/Dominic meeting! You had your ninja stalking skills in top gear that day! Thank you for everything you've done for me this year and all the memories you've given me! Here's to many more next year!

Lucy
Lucy, you are such an amazing chick! I am so very grateful that I found you all the way over there in Scotland via the very useful internet! I can't begin to tell you how much it means to have you in my life. It's so strange how, for two people who have never met before, we can be such good friends! I've loved all those crazy and perverted conversations we've had over MSN and TinyChat this past year, even if it means I was up until 4am on a school night, lol. We kicked it off so well so quickly, it was great! And then once we found out each other’s love for fanfic, well, let's just say I think Ev sometimes got a bit worried about us, lol. You really are like the older sister that I never had! I can talk to you about anything at anytime and I like that; it feels comfortable! It is going to be my mission to visit you, Lucy! It will happen! I know it will. And then you can come to Australia and I'll take you to visit the penguins! Thank you, Lucy, for being a part of my life this year! It's been so much fun! And I know that next year will be just as, if not more, awesome!

Julian
Well, where to begin, eh? We met because of the MTV poll and I was trying to find 'fans of Muse' (I didn't know they were called 'musers' at the time) to help vote. And I was telling you about all the hate that was going on between the two fanbases. And because you couldn't log onto the website to comment, you gave me some 'Dead Star' lyrics to post and, as a result, I copped so much hate from the My Chemical Romance fans, lol. And thus began our friendship! From that moment on we simply began talking to each other on Twitter and, to this day, we still do! (And Facebook and muse.mu and MSN and TinyChat.. lol). And it's cos of all the 4am conversations that I've gotten to know you so well! To quote myself and reiterate everything I've already told you, I consider it an honour to have been able to get to know you this year. Though we are so far away in actual distance, I feel that in reality we are so close to one another in spirit. I know that no matter what situation I find myself in I can always come to you for guidance and support. Not to mention you always encourage me to do my best and to be my best. It means a lot. So thank you for everything this year, it's been fun! Now for 2011!

I’m sure there is so much more that happened and so much more I want to say but, for now, this will have to suffice!

Chasing a starlight...

So, lastnight/this morning I was running on no sleep :) The final results were: awake for 20 hours on 3.5hrs sleep :) Not a bad effort if I do say so myself! lol. However, with sleep deprivation comes mood swings. I literally went from a Dominic Howard sex conversation to my 'I don't want to be thinking about life' moods. (Refer to this post lol) I'm thinking that seeing as though I have my Psychology exam tomorrow, I should probably go to bed at a reasonable time.. before 12am perhaps? lol. But knowing me, the chances of that happening are very slim! And, instead of studying today, I was in bed until 2pm-ish. Very productive day! I think in total I've done about 30min revision! In a way I deserve to fail my exam.. it might teach me a lesson! I know that what I'm doing is wrong, and I know I should change my habits, and I want to change my habits.. but I just don't care enough to actually do it!

And tomorrow is Matthew Bellamy's birthday :) I should try and remember to post something.. I always seem to forget! The only person who I ever remember to blog for is Shia LaBeouf for some reason.. lol

This post really has no purpose at all! I'm just bored and looking for something to do. I could be studying but.. meh. My theory is that if I don't know it by now, then it's too late and too bad!.. I'll survive. What I am worried about is the fact that I have 3 SACs after my exams. I also have a literature essay and an English essay due in this Friday.. which probably won't happen.. and I have all this specialist homework to catch up on before the SAC! So that's actually my main concern, not this stupid exam.

And I'm planning on drawing on my veins tomorrow, lol. The examiners will think I'm completely mental! Shall be funny! :)

And yeah, trying to plan something to do for my birthday. At this stage it looks like I'll be having a BBQ with some friends around.. nothing fancy. Emma and Elly are gonna stay over Sunday night before my birthday.. And Bec and I will maybe go out on Monday night once I'm 18! So yeah, that's pretty much what's going on there.

Before I really start to ramble too much, I'm gonna end this here.

Cheers :)

2009

In terms of updating this blog, I have become very lazy indeed. However, I’m here now, so that’s all the matters.. I thought I’d get another post in before the New Year, a little reflection on a year that was..

As 2008 drew to an end I was so psyched for 2009! There was a Supernatural convention that I was determined to go to; New Moon was being released, as well as Transformers2; and most importantly, I was going to Japan!! 2009 was going to be a fresh start. And you may think, “You’re 17 (I was 16 at the time), what could you possibly need a fresh start for?..” Well, I’d done things that I wasn’t proud of. Not towards other people, or anything that would affect anyone else; but things that affected me, things that I personally had to deal with and live with everyday.

So, 2009! Japan was amazing! It was one of, if not the most incredible experience of my life! It is something that I’ll always look back on with fond memories! Whether it was taking part in traditional Japanese activities such as tea ceremonies and wearing Kimono’s, or singing songs and quoting Harry Potter at the top of our voices through the streets of Japan, I will always remember what an amazing and educational experience it was – a once in a lifetime experience.

Transformers was released, New Moon was released, and they were fantastic!! I love my movies, especially when I’ve been so anxious for their release, so excuse me when I get excited over something so insignificant. Friday the 13th with Jared Padalecki and My Bloody Valentine with Jensen Ackles were also released! Anything that involves my boys is exciting!

HOWEVER, I didn’t get to go to the Supernatural convention. I was so mad! I had the money, I was all set. But mum and dad didn’t want me going to Sydney.. I guess that’s understandable, but to me it with was a matter of life and death! (But it’s okay, I’m going in 2010! There’s one in Melbourne!! Tickets are already bought and everything!)

And, possibly the most exciting news of 2009, BLINK 182 GOT BACK TOGETHER!! Man, I always knew they would. People tried to convince me that it’d never happen. They told me to just let it go, that they were done with. BUT THEY WERE WRONG!! Blink 182 got their act together, toured the US, and now they’re set to bring out an album in 2010! Which, I’m hoping, also means a world-wide tour.. Australia, GET READY!!

All in all 2009 seemed to be a good year – on the surface. It’s incredibly easy to hide your emotions when you’ve been doing it for so long. I told myself 2009 was going to be a new start, but if anything it was a step in the opposite direction. I suppose I came out of it okay, but it was a tough journey. I was on the edge for so long, years of suppressing every negative feeling I’d ever thought, hiding it from the world.. until it all became too much. “Poor little me”, huh.. But I found comfort in two dear friends of mine. They both helped in different ways; one was the listener, the other provided comfort. They didn’t have to be conscious of what was happening to be able to help, and that was nice. Despite my support system, trying to deal with school and everything else was hard, though I didn’t let it show. I always knew that what I was doing at school I could do better, but to be honest I just didn’t care anymore. Then, out of nowhere and completely unexpected, I got some mail :) and that was a turning point for me. There was no way I was okay, and everything didn’t suddenly go away, but I was different. I looked at things differently, and most importantly I was trying. I no longer gave up because things got hard. When I wasn’t in a good frame of mind, I found different alternatives to channel my thoughts into. One of those alternatives being this blog... not all the time.. but sometimes.

2009 was a mixture of emotions. It was fun, epic, entertaining, difficult, draining, life changing. Now 2010 is around the corner. I have year 12 ahead of me. A year that I’m terrified of and dreading, yet a year that holds much to look forward to.

Where have I been?

It seriously has been ages since I've updated. I guess my reasons for that are fairly simple; a) I've been relatively busy, and b) I've had nothing to say.
Well, me being me, I've always got something to say, but nothing that I've really thought warranted a post. Ah well.

I still have to update my Supernatural reviews, gosh.

Anyways, exams are next week. Really can't be bothered with them. They're year 11 exams, as if they're even important. However this Friday is my year 12 Methods exam 1. That's sure to be heaps of fun. My motivation level is currently at zero, so it should be interesting to see how this all works out. I can see myself seriously regretting not putting in the effort now, so I just try not to think too far ahead. Problem solved. For the time being.

Well, this was pretty unsubstantial, I apologise for that. I might come back with something a little more interesting when I'm in a better mood.

The Week That Was

Earlier this week I decided to pack my bags and temporarily escape from the clutches of reality. Monday my mum rang up my Grandma, and on Tuesday I was off to spend the week at their place. It has been quite some time since I last stayed there. Swimming used to get in the way and I could never get any time off. I suppose it must have been 4ish years since my last mini holiday with my grandparents. I felt it would be a good idea if I stayed with them for a week. Personally, I felt it would do me some good, get away from all the hassle of home and school and 'normality', and revisit my much loved childhood. Also, I felt it would be good for my grandparents. I figured they would appreciate me coming around to stay, like the good ol' days! Plus, Grandpa hasn't been well lately, and overall I just wanted to re-establish the relationship I had with them. Not that anything had actually changed as such, but I just felt different and weird and wanted to prove to myself that life was still all okay.

Anyways, I had a pretty good time! Ate SO much! I guess that's what Grandmas do; feed you and feed you, and just when you think you can't handle anymore, they feed you again! But then again, Grandmas are usually great cooks! I know mine is!

I went swimming on Wednesday morning with Grandma. The water aerobics class!! If you think that's easy, think again! I have realised just how unflexible I am, which is quite depressing, lol. We both went to check out some nursing home too. And before you get all 'typical..' on me, we went there because Grandma volunteers there and they just did renovations and the volunteers were there to check everything out! It's the same company or whatever that my mum works at, just a different location.

After that we went to Lilydale. We went inside the shops and Grandma is like 'would you like anything? Any clothes or something?' And I just feel bad making people buy me stuff, so I said no. Then she walks into Millers and is like 'want anything? See anything you like?' I just said, 'Grandma, the resident's cupboards at my mums work are full of clothes from here!' lol. Then we left to go home.

But before we made it out of the car park I remembered a photo I had taken the night before. In my room, on the table behind my bed, there is a lamp that I was using for reading. But behind the lamp were three dolls. I got out of bed to get my iPod, and when I turned to get back in bed, I had these three dolls staring at me with scary shadows from the lamp! As if dolls aren't scary enough during the day! And anyone that knows me would know that I'm scared of dolls (and clowns). So, naturally, I took a photo to prove this horrible image I saw to everyone. And while in the car I showed this picture to Grandma, she thinks I'm nuts! But from then on, after I had shown Grandpa too, every time something happened, we blamed it on the dolls!

I did a lot of homework too, which totally sucked. Homework is unfair! I eventually got all my literature stuff done, that was a total nightmare!

I also played a lot of JezzBall, Mahjong, Chip's Challenge, and Spider Solitaire! The highest score on Spider Solitare was 1200, with 100 moves. Then I have a shot and I take over with 1202, with 98 moves! Not bad, hey?! Give Grandma something to beat!

Grandma and I were also picking tammerella's(?) from the Tammerella(?) tree in the backyard. I've never tried them, don't think I'd like them either. But spent some time out in the garden. The weather was beautiful! The sun was shining, no clouds in the sky, and if there were clouds they were white, fluffy ones! Then of course, the weather turned shit towards Friday.

Friday morning I went to church. It was a mass for the sick where the Priest does the whole anointing of the sick. There were four people there, five including the priest. Me, my grandparents and some other lady. It was... different. An intimate little prayer session. Then Saturday night I went to church again with Grandma. Grandpa wasn't feeling well so he stayed home. I'm Catholic and all, but I don't care much for church and anything religious. Some people might really get something from it, but it does nothing for me. One afternoon while the sun was out, I was sitting out the front of my grandparents place, on a little bricked area near the front door, and I was talking to Grandma (I had interrupted her gardening, but she came and sat with me.) Then she went to garden some more, and Grandpa came to sit with me. And he's religious. Not all like preachy religious, but religion means a lot to him. And he was telling me that as he's gotten older, and as he realises that he doesn't have too long left, that the most important relationship he has is his relationship with God. (I thought he was gonna say family, but my bad.) Anyway, he was talking about how he grew up during the war (my grandparents are both from Holland, moved over to Australia when they were 21 and 23), and how during that time churches were packed because the only thing people could do was pray and hope. Everything else was out of their control. He said that once you've had that feeling of helplessness, and once you've seen you're parents truly scared, you hold onto that forever. He was saying how during times of hardship, people turn to God and pray, but he said that you gotta do that during the times when everything is good too. He believes that we're put on earth, and he trusts God to make the right decision when it's time to leave the earth. I don't know what point this all has, maybe that hearing that from him, considering how sick he is, just hit me.

Anyway, I went to bingo with Grandma on Saturday! I don't care what you say, bingo is awesome!! It's really funny, and I can't believe I'm gonna say this, it's slightly embarrassing. Not embarrassing cause something happened in front of people, embarrassing because I can't believe I react the way I do. I'll have my bingo booklet, and the caller will be calling the numbers, and I'll get down to around 2 numbers left. This particular game has been going a while, no ones called bingo yet, I could be in with a chance. Before you know it all I need is one number, and dude, by this time my heart is pounding!!! lol. I can feel it in my chest, just pounding away! Sometimes I think I'm probably more likely to suffer a heart attack before anyone else in the room. Then someone calls bingo and my heart can resume it's normal pace. But come on, it gets competitive!!! Grandma actually won the first game. And, what did she win you may be wondering? Toilet paper! Yes, exciting!! (There's a prize table at the back of the playing tables, one section if you win a line, another section if you win a full house. You get to choose your prize from the section of the game you won.) Anyway, Grandma won again later on. Twice she won a full house... I think. I know the second time definitely was. Anyway, the second time she won she let me choose something. I got Milo! lol. Then, luckily for me, I won a full house! I totally got a block of chocolate! lol So yes...

This is my photo of proof!

Check out the one on the left... ah!