Day Eleven - Someone You've Drifted Away From

Dear someone I've drifted away from,

This is actually a very simple task to write this letter because it goes out to pretty much everybody I've ever known. It was never a conscious decision to distance myself from you, it sort of just happened via the natural progression of life. I have always considered myself to be an outsider with no real place where I felt I belonged. I never saw this as a negative though because I have always been content living in my own little private world. My very nature has always been to keep to myself and to blend in; I never sought to stand out amongst the crowd. This, however, wasn't the real me. In the privacy of my own world I was, and still am, slightly on the eccentric side, as a few people will be able to attest to. Regardless of what I was like behind closed doors, this didn't change the fact that I was essentially a completely different person when around others. I used to try to please other people, to make them want to have me around. I never got on anyones bad side and always tried to fit in and contribute to the group without being too overtly opinionated. With so many more confident and charasmatic people around, I gave up on trying to make a name for myself and opted to just hide away in the shadows. I have always stood firm about being yourself and not caring what other people think, but it wasn't until not that long ago that I actually started to listen to myself.
I have always had friends, but I went for a very long time without having the friend; the best friend. I was a drifter. I didn't go more than a year hanging out with the same crowd at school. A new year meant a new group of friends. It wasn't that I stopped being friends with anyone, it was just the simple fact that people grow up; people change. In some cases it was everyone in the group that went their separate ways; in other cases it was just me. In those particular instances I just felt that everyone else was changing together, developing the same interests and passions. It just happened to be that I wasn't going in the same direction as them, hence why I drifted a lot.
I am still friends with most of the people I've drifted away from, it's just that we're nowhere near as close as we used to be. Sometimes I feel jealous when I look at those people now and see that they're all still together; it makes me wonder what I did wrong and why I'm always the one who seems to lose people. I used to think that if I was going to keep losing people all the time then maybe I should just conform and become another face in crowd; other times I thought I should just give up on the friends thing all together. But now I know I was just being silly. I still have those wonderful people in my life, and I've now found my little 'click' XD . I couldn't ask for a more amazing group of people to surround myself with. So despite the fact that I've drifted away from so many people, they will always mean so much to me for everything that they did, and I'm just grateful that I now have a place where I feel I belong.

-Jyssica.