Day Ten - A Deceased Person You Wish You Could Talk To

Dear a deceased person I wish I could talk to,

Six months ago this would only have been directed to two people; unfortunately that number has increased. Nevertheless, there will be plenty of time to dedicate to those more recent losses, and for now I'm going to take the opportunity to write to one particular person whom I've been longing to talk to for so long, regardless of the fact that it will never happen.
Unfortunately I never had the opportunity to meet you. You were before my time; taken away from this world long before I was even a mere thought in anyone's mind. I've heard stories about you, about how you raised your son practically on your own after the death of your husband. In all honesty, I find the whole situation surrounding your side of the family very confusing. However, from what I've heard, you were an amazing woman. I've seen photos of you; photos of a long distant past, enjoying the moment while it lasted. I've heard of the lessons that you taught your son, the morals that you instilled within him. I've heard about the hardships that you had to endure within your life, hardships that you faced and conquered. I suppose life was harder back then; harder, yet in many ways a much simpler time.
It's a shame that we were never even given a chance to meet. I know that one of the things you wanted most in the world was a granddaughter; well, here I am. I'm technically a religious person, but a piece of paper means nothing to me unless you actually have faith. So I suppose I don't really consider myself to be religious at all. Sure, I have my beliefs, but they're my beliefs based on what I choose to believe, not what I'm told to believe. One of the many things that I believe in is the existance of spirits. I believe that once we die there is no heaven or hell for us to go to, I simply can't wrap my head around that concept. However, I believe that once we die, if you are leaving something behind in this world that you have an unbelievable connection with, whether that be due to love, vengance or 'unfinished business', I believe that you can remain on the earth as a spirit, tied down to whatever is keeping you here until you have made peace. From there where do we go? I can't answer that. All I know is that I used to hold onto the hope that you were still around. I used to talk to you whenever I felt alone; the conversation may have been extremely one sided (lol) but still, it made me feel like I was almost 'confessing' myself to you, getting rid of the weight that was keeping me down. I found comfort in that small hope that I had, and I held it close to my heart. As I got older that hope faded, however I'm thankful for my youthful innocence and the role that you played in that. I suppose a part of me will always hold onto the tiniest shred of hope that you might still be out there watching over me, but I no longer rely on it.
I wish that I could have met you, and I wish that I believed that we one day could. But no matter how hard I wish, that will never happen. So what I hold onto now is a desire to be the kind of person that you could have been proud of; someone who you would have been proud to call your granddaughter.

-Jyssica.