All Saints..

All Saints last night.
Dude! It was horrible! Mark came on screen and my eyes got watery, that was it. Then at the end, after it had finished, John Howard came on screen and said something like 'recently everyone at channel seven and the cast and crew at All Saints lost a beloved friend, Mark Priestley...' and he just went on to talk, and he gave out the Lifeline number (11 13 14) and then there was a little tribute.
And OMG! I was balling my eyes out!
I didn't actually realise how upset I actually was!
Like, he was one of my favourite actors, my favourite actor and character on All Saints, and he was so gorgeous and cute and ah! I just loved him! And it's weird knowing that he's just not here anymore.
But it's confusing too, because I'd never met him, didn't know him, never spoken to him, yet I was this upset? And It's just weird because I don't have the right to be this upset about it! At least I don't think I do.
But I think it's because I just get so emotionally attatched to everyone and everything. And I think it's sad that he was that unhappy that he left so much behind and left so many people!
And I obviously don't know what he was going through, but there have been times where I've just wanted everything to end and to take the easy way out. I've never actually attempted to end my life, but those thoughts sometimes cross your mind. And while thinking those things sometimes, I never really thought about how my family and friends would feel.
But now, after this happening, I've realised that if I'm this upset over Marks death, then can you imagin how the people around me would feel if anything happened to me?
I just think it's horrible.
And so yeah, last night I was like crying for ages! And I'm telling myself to stop! But I couldn't! It was horrible! Then one thing leads to another, then I end up crying for whole new reasons! But I'm good now, so no need to panic!
I'm a happy little vegemite as bright as bright can be!