Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Day Nineteen - Someone That Changed Your Life

Dear someone who changed my life,

It's very rare that I open up to people on a deep, personal level. I am, however, completely transparent when it comes to my obsessions and weird little mannerisms; in a way I'm utterly predictable! I'm so outspoken about the things that I'm passionate about that people can read me like an open book! In saying this though, there is more to me than meets the eye; that's right, I'm a transformer, lol. In all seriousness though, I'm a lot more complex than people may assume. There are only a handful of people who have ever glimpsed this side of me, and an even fewer amount still who have actually witnessed this side of me in full force. It is these couple of people who changed my life; who saved my life. Whether it was a conscious effort or not, they all had their role to play. Now, two paragraphs for two special people. (NOTE: there is a third person here, but they already have their own post. This person was/is an incredible strength to me and I don't know what I would have done without them. They have never once judged me based on anything I've ever told them. They know exactly how much they mean to me, at least I hope they do, and nothing will ever, ever change that).

You were there for me when I had no one else to turn to. Don't ask me how it happened, because I don't have a clue, but something changed in our friendship that pushed us from being friends to best friends. Perhaps it was our ability to identify with each other; both in different circumstances, yet both still able to understand where the other person was coming from. For a very long time I came to you for everything. I literally poured my heart out to you because I didn't know what else to do. I needed this weight off of my shoulders and you were my go-to. I felt bad burdening you with my issues when you had your own to deal with, but I guess in a way this just strengthened our bond. I will never, ever forget one specific night when I was babysitting my neighbours. I was watching 'The Boy In The Striped Pyjama's'. I came home that night and I wasn't in a good state.. You helped me through that. I don't even know if you remember.. There is obviously a lot of that story that I'm not going to reveal for the sake of this letter, but trust me when I say what you did for me that night I will never forget. You were there for me every single step of the way, not once losing patience with me or abandoning me. What we went through, and how you helped me, I'm forever in debt to you. I realise that you think you did nothing, but let me assure you that you did do something; more than just a mere 'something'.. perhaps more than you'll ever know. And for everything you did for me, I am eternally grateful.

You did what you did for me without having any clue of the effect you would have. I just want you to know the respect and admiration I have for you. I have always looked up to you; everything about you is how I'd wanna be, your freedom comes naturally. I've never had many older female influences in my life that were close to my age, so once I met you it was like I had finally discovered the big sister that I never had. You're just so intelligent and witty and talented!! After I pretty much lost contact with everyone, you were the one person who I maintained a connection with; and I'm so thankful for that! You really are a bundle of energy and positivity! You have such an optimistic view on life in general! "It's hard to be blue when the sun shines on your day off and you have a bag full of books which cost nothing at all". I love that you get joy out of the simple things in life; a cosy cafe with a tea and good book to keep you company. Sorry to ramble on, but you must understand how much your opinion means to me; because when you sent me a letter out of the blue one day, that was a turning point for me. The letter was unexpected and it made me realise that even though we never actually saw each other anymore, you were still sensing that there was something wrong. For you to be able to guage something like that from such a distance really made me start to think; Not only was I affecting the people I saw on a daily basis, but I had managed to draw your attention. I can't even explain to myself, let alone to everyone else, what snapped within me. But whatever it was, something changed inside of me. From that day on I started to view the world differently; I started to change my opinion on life. By no means did everything suddenly go away, nor do I think it ever will, but from that day onwards things have never been the same. I still keep on me at all times the little ticket you sent me with your letter - it's a constant reminder for me of what to strive for.
Without the love and support of those people closest to me, then I don't know where I would be today. So to all those people who have ever helped me out, whether the favour be big or small, I thank you so much ♥

-Jyssica.

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